Character: An irate commuter
Action: Rollerblading
Setting: In a plum orchard
Phrase: “Are you sure you really want to do that?”
The Plum
by Sara Kachelman

The plum overtook the entire orchard. When it grew larger than a water tower, it rolled and sat its ass on i-5. The commuters tried to go around it until one brave woman plowed right through. Are you sure you really want to do that? Cried a chorus of carpoolers. I am late, she said. She turned her wipers on high. The pulp sprayed everywhere. The juice caused a flash flood that washed away two whole lanes. The sweet nectar plugged the throats of the naysayers, the tailgaters, the ones who told this woman not to try. And all the haters died.
When the woman had cleared a path and disappeared, children flocked to the giant plum to latch onto its flesh and suck like barnacles. The plum was closed to thru traffic.
Everyone had to walk. Intrepid rollerbladers tried and failed to coast down the wet red tongue of the giant plum, scattering pulp in their wake.
But by late afternoon the plum got soft. The heat of the sun sealed its interior like a rotten pink sarcophagus, rendering it too toxic to enter. The city of Portland was filled with the smell of burning sugar.
By nightfall the top of the plum had collapsed, launching a spray of dead yellow fruit flesh across the Willamette Valley.
The survivors gathered together. No one had plum insurance. With gas masks they hunted for the plum farmer. They found him deep inside the plum pit, curled up asleep.
They were so exhausted when they got there they curled up with him and cried.
©2018 Sara Kachelman
Sara Kachelman has published fiction in DIAGRAM, Fanzine, and New South. She lives in Portland, OR.
Filed under: Mini Sledgehammers | Tagged: commuter, contest, insurance, plums, regret, rollerblading, Sara Kachelman, Sledgehammer, Willamette Valley, writing |
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