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Mini Sledgehammer March 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Thanks for your patience as we transition from Elissa Nelson facilitating Mini Sledgehammer to Kristin Thiel returning to the role! Thanks so much, Elissa. Salud, cheers, to you! And congratulations to this month’s winner, Megan Savage, who successfully incorporated the following four prompts into what the judge deemed the most successful story of the evening.

Character: Flying monkey

Prop: Toothbrush

Setting: The ocean

Action: Swinging on a rope

***

Surrender

by Megan Savage

The first favorite fight my best friend and I had was the one about whose dad could lick whose.  I had heard that word lick somewhere, and I thought it was funny and old-fashioned, and I imagined that a fight that resulted in a licking would be less boozy than elegant.  As though the winner would walk away with Bryll creamed hair intact.  We had that fight for a long time, until we started having the ancestry fight.  She would tell me that she was a Pilgrim and then I would have to tell her that I was an Indian and we would go back and forth like this, back and forth, forever.  She promising that she would produce the Mayflower manifest, me promising that I would produce my great great great grandmother’s headdress, she promising that she would produce her great great great grandmother’s buckled shoes, me promising that I would produce a smallpox blanket.

And then one day I came up with the idea that would trump any of this.  We were swinging on the rope swing in her backyard that arced out over the suburban swamplands, over the plank bridge her father had lain over the depression that would fill up with water into a stream in the summer and sink into a mulch of wet leaves come fall.  My father, I told her, had played the role of a flying monkey in the Wizard of Oz.  I told her he didn’t talk about it because he had such a serious job now, that he was embarrassed, and she couldn’t tell anyone.  She didn’t believe me, of course, but then I told her things I could never know.  L Frank Baum was a white supremacist and he had written manifestos about killing Indians that he made all the monkeys sign.  The monkeys developed lice from sharing those little purple hats.  And her eyes widened with credibility.  Her father was a Jew but his family had lived in America for a long time and none of his family had died in the Holocaust.  We both knew this to be a fact, so there was nothing she could really say to make him more interesting than mine.

The ocean is the place for scattering ashes.  When my father died last year I called up my friend in California and told her that she had to come back with me to take him to the ocean.  She said she couldn’t get the time off work and I hung up and brushed my teeth with a Walgreen’s toothbrush.  I had a dream that night that my father was a chimpanzee, swinging off the national monument.  His face looked just like my father’s, but he opened his mouth in a contortion wider than human, displaying all of his teeth and much of his gums, as chimpanzees do.  There is something about our occupations that changes the shape of our bodies.  My father had been hunched over all his life, from carrying his barrel chest and then working a desk job at a company that set up telephone networks.  This was another compelling piece of evidence for the monkey story.  Once he was invited to travel to Bermuda with the telephone pioneers of America.  He wasn’t a pioneer, but his boss gave him the ticket for keeping silent about the women coming in and out of the boss’s office.  The beach where I brought my father is not too far from where the Pilgrim’s landed, but the area is mostly Portuguese now, and there’s a power plant that looms over the whole place like Mt. Doom.  There also used to be an amusement park called Nantasket, but they tore it down to make room for condos, leaving only fried clam stands named Rocco’s and one peeling carousel from the turn of the century.

When you’re little you want to be different and important, but when you get older and you’ve each taken a different one of Frost’s divergent paths, all you want is to find the common ground you once had.  Now my friend works in LA designing packaging for a popular line of dolls that are actually monsters and also high school students.  I took my father on the carousel.  We chose a horse with a picture of a Grecian lady on his saddle.  I thought about how flying monkeys don’t make very good characters because they don’t talk but also how my father talked slower than anyone I’ve ever met.  I bought my father a plate of fried clams.  I said, “surrender, Daddy” and let his ashes go into the wind.  Then I flew to LA and took a job working with my friend.  I’ve been thinking up ideas for the copy I can write on the boxes.  “High school is hell.”  “Science takes braiiiinnnns.”   “Bewitch your boyfriends.”

© Megan Savage 2013

This is Megan Savage’s first Mini Sledgehammer win. Congratulations!

Mini Sledgehammer February 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Thanks for another great Mini Sledgehammer, all. Congratulations to the February winner, Daniel Granias! We hope to see you at Mini Sledgehammer again.

Character: Hostile talking animal

Action: Going to happy hour

Setting: Underneath and underpass

Prop: Child’s toy

***

Untitled

by Daniel Granias

“I told you that wasn’t a good idea, Chuck.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let them arrest me?”

“You’re not worth the handcuffs it’d take.”

Chuck sent a heel into the underbelly of Roy, the mange-ridden Labrador, hard enough to throw the hostile hound on his side.

“Shut up, fleabag.”

The pair began to gather the damp and torn remnants of clothing and blankets that were strewn in the muddy gutter, wrapping the green camping tarp over the bundle and dragging it out of the rain beneath the convergence of Eisenhower Expressway and the Dan Ryan.

Less than a year ago, Chuck had in fact been worth more than just a pair of handcuffs—millions more. And Chuck hadn’t always been Chuck; he was formerly Charles T. Greyson, co-owner of Greyson Motor Industries Unlimited. That was before his brother Julius signed the company over to a corporate account that specialized in the electronic digitization of transmissions, a move that left Charles defending a backless, diesel-guzzling freight line, and therefore forced to withdraw all shareholding. This left him with nothing, and his insurance coverage was invalidated after his wife of six years who provided the plan revealed her intention to leave Charles for Julius since they met at the Golden Nugget happy hour two years ago.

But now Charles was Chuck, and Chuck was on the move.

“I should’ve left you with Meredith, Roy.”

“That bitch? I’d’ve rather eaten shit.”

“You already do.”

“Fuck off, you sorry excuse of a bum.”

Just as the ragged team slugged their way up to the narrowest part of the ramp, a doll tumbled out of Chuck’s tarp. It rolled down the moss and mildew scattered concrete and stuck in a mud bank at the bottom. Its eyes stared up at Chuck in the single yellow glare of the streetlight.

“Why’d you take that from Audrey?”

“She can survive. Her mom can provide her with everything now.”

“But why that? She never played with it anyway.”

“It was the first thing I bought for her. I doubt she even remembers it.”

“She remembers you.”

“I’d rather she didn’t.”

“She’s better off.”

© Daniel Granias 2013

Mini Sledgehammer January 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Elissa Nelson, a long-time Sledgehammer friend, has upped her friendliness by offering to lead Mini Sledgehammer for the next handful of months–tonight was her first in this role. Thanks, Elissa!

Can you guess what, from the winning story below, Elissa’s prompts were? [Insert theme music to Get to Know Your Facilitator, an exciting new game from the producers of Wheel of Fortune!]

***

January

by Kerrie Farris

The crows crowded in at her feet, squabbling in rough voices over the cold, half-eaten calzone Grace had dropped a moment before. Some of them stood away from the fray, beady eyes trained on her, grumbling and squawking as if their lack of dinner was her fault.

When two birds each grabbed a scrap of crust and flew straight in to her face, she abandoned the damp cement bench in front of the library and set off in search of somewhere with fewer feathered ruffians.

Shivering in a gust of wind that nearly took her hat off, Grace skirted a wispy-haired woman in a wheel chair, a wispy-haired palm-sized dog tucked into a fold of the dingy Pendleton jacket draping her hunched shoulders. “I walked those streets, my dear, and there was only half an hour I was ever happy,” the woman said to a space well to the left of Grace.

She passed a park, with trees but no grass, where two girls sat on another damp bench, delicately twining each other’s hair into spirals, then roughing it up toward the roots with their fingertips. A quick way to turn shiny, soft hair into dreadlocks. Pulling hair in reverse.

Grace left the park behind her. A few silky-feathered crows ahead of her scrattered over, of all things, a pair of ethereal blue panties. Grace lost her footing at the curb, the toe of her boot jutting too boldly into space. She went down, on her hands and knees and chin, onto the damp pavement as the furious crows shredded the panties, strands of soft, shiny elastic breaking as they were pulled the normal way, the harder way, and wondered if she might not have spent a happier half hour at the library. Even in January, the place was warm.

(c) Kerrie Farris 2013

Kerrie Farris lives in Portland and watches the crows when she ought to be working.

Mini Sledgehammer November 2012: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

One thing you can say about Mini Sledgehammer: it’s never boring! Kristin arrived after taking two buses to find the venue double booked (with a pleasant group talking about dying over a microphone).

She spotted three of our regulars in the corner. They chatted; they decided the night wasn’t right for a Mini. Two of the three left; Kristin waited for the third as she used the restroom. While Kristin did so, a familiar face appeared: two of our main Sledgehammer participants had been sitting across the room!

So then there were three, and they had prompts, and Kristin had wine, and they wrote. No one cared about the prizes–they just wanted to write. But there was a winner! Congratulations, Kevin!

Prompts:
Character: A patient participant
Action: Double booking
Setting: A sunnier place
Prop: A mandarin collar

***

Untitled

by Kevin Nusser

Usually I am patient, good at standing still and thinking. In middle school, I would lie on the couch bored to death. My Mom would go down a litany of things to do. I would tell her I was beyond boredom, too bored to do anything more than stare up at the ceiling. Usually I am patient.

On the weekends, I stand outside the goodwill outlet store for an hour in the cold, just for the chance to bring the first at the old books. In that line of thirty people I am patient.

But this line is not about patience. It is about desperation. We have all been told the chances of getting on this flight to a sunnier place. We all can feel that warmth. But this flight has been double booked. And this line suggests bookings of infinitely more.

I stand behind a little girl dressed in a fine kimono with a mandarin collar. She is not a patient participant, exhausting her mother and already tired of the few magic tricks that I know.

We slowly shuffle forward, inching towards that place in sunnier weather. I do not know whether I am waiting to get on the plane or waiting for the signal that my life is doomed.

A block from the terminal the doors are shut by national guardsman. I think of wasted minutes as the Mom hugs the kimonoed girl.

And yet, we stay in line. Usually I am patient, even to death.

(c) Kevin Nusser 2012

Mini Sledgehammer October 2012: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Kristin arrived by bicycle at 7:02 p.m., but returning Mini Sledgehammer friends had the evening under control: They were happily dividing up responsibility to come up with the writing prompts. Thanks, all! In addition to the regulars, a couple of new faces joined the group this time–very cool. And every Tuesday is now all-day happy hour at Blackbird! What a treat for us, since we’re there every second Tuesday.

Congratulations to Amy Seaholt!

Prompts:
Character: The Other
Action: Makin’ it or breakin’ it
Setting: Home sweet home
Phrase: the kindness of strangers

***

Pinpoint

by Amy Seaholt

I like to ignore The Other. She irritates me to no end. It wasn’t always that way.

Back in the day, when we were trying to make it or break it in Hollywood, we were a team. Inseparable. The glorious Gibson sisters. Our star was just a pinpoint in that bright LA sky, but we were determined to make it shine brighter. The Other was the talker, but I had the voice. She talked her way into getting us the audition with Mr. Crosby. I never knew exactly how she did it but I had my suspicions; her behind closed doors and a feather in her lipstick line. When we got the gig, it was me Mr. Crosby was looking at. My voice made it happen. The Other called him Bing.

We were photographed in matching scarves and brown bobs curling around our jaws, squeezed lovingly into a convertible owned by one mogul or another. It lasted like as long as the flash of the bulb that caught us.

Mr. Crosby got us one last job on the Luxe Radio Theater hour. But radio wasn’t a ticket to the big time. We came away no brighter than we were before.

No matter how much The Other tried to work her magic, in her hot pants and kitten heels, it wasn’t good enough to catch more than a glance from those moguls. I knew the problem, of course. She was too pushy, too forward. It made her unappealing and easily used. Her voice wasn’t as clear as they wanted and I was tied to her, as sisters are. I wanted nothing to do with it.

“I think it’s time we moved on,” I told her one day. She stubbed out her cigarette and said, “Where do you think we should go?”

“I don’t mean we.”

She halted, water half-way to her lips. “Yes you do,” she said, eyes locked on mine. “We work together.”

“Maybe it’s time we stopped.”

“Maybe it’s time you appreciated all I have done for you,” her eyes narrow and venom filled now. “All of the times I have taken you along for the Goddamn ride because you’re blood.” It wasn’t the reaction I had anticipated.

“Maybe we should go to Daddy’s place in Tahoe. The casinos are taking off there,” I said.

We moved to our home sweet, faux log cabin home that fall. Suffered through the snowy winter while our bodies tried to acclimating to the altitude and the remote life. By the spring we had a show at Harrah’s lounge, and The Other took bits of Harrah’s home after hours. Decorating her bedroom with a red fabric covered reading lamp and supplying our kitchen with institutional white plates. It was her way of adjusting to the life that is now ours. Trying to keep hold of the dream we never achieved.

“Don’t take that stuff, we’ll get fired,” I said as she pulled another table setting out of her purse.

“The maitre d’ gave it to me,” she insisted.

“He did not.”

“I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers,” she said

“You have not.”

When I picked up my paycheck yesterday, there was a note that my boss, head of entertainment, wanted to speak with me.

I went into his dark office and shut the door behind me. “Is there a problem?” I asked.

“It’s about your sister,” he said.

“We’re not a team. I barely know what she does each day.” I said, separating myself from her again, stepping forward and shrugging a shoulder out of my wrap.

(c) Amy Seaholt 2012

Amy Seaholt is a realtor by day and a writer by night. Sometimes that day/night thing gets mixed up. She is participating in the Attic Institute’s Atheneum program as a fiction fellow, focusing on her first novel. You can find her here: www.awkwardlaugh.com. Or here: www.amyseaholt.com. She lives in Northeast Portland with her husband and two young children.