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2011 Dates Announced

Mark your calendars now for the 2011 Sledgehammer 36-Hour Writing Contest! We’ll take to Portland’s streets for our scavenger hunt on Saturday, September 17, 2011, and stories will be due by 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, September 18. Registration will open in August.

Let’s hear it from our past participants: Why do you Sledgehammer? For the adrenaline? To write? For the teamwork? Something else?

Mini Sledgehammer: February 2011

Can you believe it’s February already? The diamond companies certainly won’t let us forget. Why don’t we throw them a bone and write something loosely wedding based? Be romantic or cynical, literal or digital, but make it literary and use all the prompts!

Prompts:
character: a wedding planner
action: putting on the oxygen mask
setting: on an airplane
phrase: “I’m allergic.”

Only writers present can compete, but if you’re writing from home for fun, be sure to post your story to your own blog or website and then put a link in a comment below.

Thanks for writing!

Congratulations to Man Price, who says of his prize package, “I love all my new toys!”

***

"Self-Portrait"

What Money Can’t Buy

by Manchester Barry Price

Being rich is a mixed bag.  I know you’re all thinking, “Yeah, right!” and I understand how you feel.  The problem with being rich is that you have the money to do, basically, whatever you want, so there is this pressure to actually do it.  More specifically, you’re often pressured to do what everyone else says you want.

After I proposed, my bride to be, Sandy, picked New Zealand for our wedding and honeymoon.  I live in Utah for good reason: it’s mostly flat, there are few bodies of water, no hurricanes, no tornadoes, earthquakes are rare and you can go anywhere you want in your very own car.  “Sandy!  What are you thinking?  I can’t go to New Zealand.  Are you crazy?”  Sandy was not about to give me any slack.  She had thought this out; she had a plan.  Tough Love was to be her wedding theme.  “Why can’t you babe?” she cooed, “It’s just a plane.”  “Because I’m allergic!” I yelled.

“Allergic to what?”

“To everything!”

Cue the wedding planner and the life coach and the couples councilor and the hypnotist.  Cue the mock airplane.  Throwing money at the problem, Qantas delivered a shiny 747 flight trainer and every day for a month, our whole crew gathered.  We trained and trained and trained.

Just climbing the ladder and going through that small door had me freaked out.  “Keep coming, babe,” said Sandy.  “You can do it,” cried the rest of the team.  “Remember the visualization,” said Sandy, “Visualize a huge desert with nothing in it,” she said, because all the typical visualization scenes made me even more anxious; oceans and waves and hawks flying and just floating on the water.  So I visualized nothing but empty desert and made my way down the isle.  “Row, three!  Row nine!  Row eighteen,” they all cried, “You’re almost there!”

By row twenty-two I was on my hands and knees.  I was sweating, cursing, mumbling to myself, whining; and they were all happily and lovingly screaming at me to “Go, go, go; you can do it!”  I made it to row twenty-six, way the hell back.  It was like visiting all the levels of hell.  I pulled myself up into the chair and began hyperventilating.  The oxygen masks dropped down.  I had the clarity, the urgent sense of survival to remember the safety video we had gone over sixty times.  I got the string around my neck, the mask on my face and I looked to the seat beside me, ready to put a mask on the child who was always there in the video, but of course the seat was empty.

And then finally, my mask began to fill, and I had the first sense that I just might live.  I didn’t calm down right away, but it was better.  The wedding planner was rubbing my shoulders.  The hypnotist was mouthing the words, “Deserted desert… flat… alone… safe…”  Sandy was in the row ahead of me, her knees on the seat and leaning back to face me.  Her eyes were like all the pictures you’ve ever seen of God looking down and saying, “I am love.  You can do it.  You may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

They told me later that they had spiked the oxygen supply in the customized flight trainer with laughing gas.  I’m here to tell you; friends, that stuff works.  “Movie,” I’d drooled, “Where’s my cocktail and peanuts?  Get this baby up in the air and lets get cranking for New Zealand.”

My first training flight was a smashing success.  Literally, as it turned out.  Descending the ladder, still unbelievably high, I fell fourteen feet onto the tarmac and fractured ribs, broke bones, scraped, bruised, sprained; you name it.  We spent our honeymoon, four glorious weeks, at a secluded vacation spot in the high desert.  It was wheelchair equipped.

There’s talk of California for our first anniversary.  We can drive there in our very own car.

© 2011 Manchester Barry Price

***

Man Price eagerly awaits the March issue of The Sun; the first time his work will appear in print. He loaded Kerouac’s On the Road to his iPod in January. He just keeps listening, 34 days and counting. Man’s blog can be found at http://manprice.blogspot.com/

Mini Sledgehammer: November 2010

We had two Pams and a Pamela at this month’s Mini Sledgehammer, which almost swayed us to make one of the writing prompts someone named Pam–or a variation thereof–but we held strong with our pre-chosen prompts.

Prompts:
Character: spy
Action: painting
Setting: amid a scheduling conflict
Dialogue: “Spare some change?”

Congratulations to Pam Bejerano, who stole the prize!

***

Pam Bejerano

Henry stood staring at the work. It was a live exhibit and the canvass, it seemed, was being attacked by the artist rather than being painted. The man would stand for minutes, neither a muscle nor a strand of hair moving. Then suddenly he would burst into life, throwing, spraying paint, some even hitting the canvass. His grunts and moans of ecstasy made Henry feel he was intruding on a private encounter rather than watching someone paint.

“That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Henry turned to see the source of the voice. A young woman stood, watching the painter with an expression he could only imagine matched his own. She was his age, he hoped, with very curly black hair going off in several directions. Her clothes were comfortably disheveled, giving a slight air of purpose in their arrangement. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Yeah,” was the only brilliant line he found. Looking around desperately, he spotted the title and pointed to it. “Can you spare some change?” he whispered. She looked at him, her eyebrows wrinkling together above her nose. “The title,” he said, pointing again. “It’s called, ‘Can You Spare Some Change?'”

She read the name and they both immediately covered their mouths as laughter spilled out. With a dirty glare thrown at them by the artist they quickly turned and ran away. They were still laughing as they stumbled down the stairs into the main lobby.

“I’m Helen,” she said, still trying to catch her breath. “You must be Henry.”

For the first time in three months Henry had been forced to say yes to his co-worker Jake’s insistance on a blind date.

“She’s an old friend. You’ll love her, I swear.”

Henry usually claimed he couldn’t attend previous attempts to set them up due to scheduling conflicts. But tonight, he and his coworker both were supposed to be at a board meeting that was cancelled, so he was free. And now, here she was. And damn if Jake wasn’t right.

As the evening wore on his ease with her made it feel like he had known her forever. They ate dinner at South Park, finishing a bottle of wine then moving into the bar to start another. After that they walked the waterfront, talking, laughing. She did an amazing impersonation of the artist that made him laugh so hard his side hurt. By the time she said she had to go, it was midnight, and he was in love.

“I’ve had a really good time tonight, Henry,” she said, both hands clutching her purse.”

“Yeah, me too. You know,” he said, plunging his hands deep into his pockets, “it’s been a really long time since I’ve been out with anyone.”

Helen nodded, “I know.”

Henry paused and looked at her. “How do you know?”
“Well,” her voice suddenly tightened as her gaze scanned the street. “Well, that’s what, um, your friend, that’s what he said. That it had been a long time.”

“What friend?”

“You know, the one you work with.”

“The one you’ve been friends with for 10 years? That one?”

Helen laughed. “Yeah, of course.”

“Helen, what’s going on? Jake said you were old friends. If he set me up with a stranger…”

“No, no, it’s not his fault.”

“Fault?” Henry felt his neck go red.

Once, once in his life, he had agreed to a blind date. By the time he made it home that night with one shoe, no money and a broken nose he swore he would never go on a another blind date again. And yet here he was, on a blind date with a woman who was lying through her teeth.

“I’ve gotta go.” He said, and turned to leave. “You can tell Jake to go fuck himself.”

“Wait, wait.” Helen was suddenly in front of him, blocking his path. “Wait Henry, please. This isn’t Jake’s fault. I’ve never even met Jake.” Henry glared at her, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I’m a spy.”

“A what?” Of all the stories he expected to hear this was not one of them.

“I’m a spy. I don’t know who Jake is, but my friend Amanda told me to come here tonight and find someone named Henry. I was supposed to report back to her if you were…well…I mean…”

“Good looking enough to go on an actual date with?” Henry was fuming.

“No.” Helen took a deep breath. “The marrying type,” she said, her cheeks flushing in the street light.

“Well?” It was the only response he could find.

“I think I’m going to tell her no,” she said as she reached up and gave him a long, slow, kiss.

© 2010 Pam Russell Bejerano

***

Pam Russell Bejerano is a writer who works as an ESL director in Portland, Oregon. Pam has published a poem and was invited to read a short story at the Cannon Beach Historical Society. She is currently working on a novel to be completed in 2011. Pam’s blog can be found at http://clumsyseeker.blogspot.com/.

Mini Sledgehammer: October 2010

We’re back at the Minis after the big event in September, and ready to roll! If you write from home, post a link, and we’ll connect to it on our social networks!

Prompts:
Character: marathon runner
Action: making a cheese plate
Setting: haunted house
Prop: business cards

Congratulations to Wendy Grant, who took home the prizes this month with a great story.

***

Jackson is a runner. He has a sweat band and expensive socks and breathable shirts. But after he ran a marathon, he took it to another level. He started wearing a heart rate monitor to work. He does data entry. He enters some data and announces his resting hear rate.

“I’m a marathoner,” he tells people he meets. He buys a vanilla latte at Starbucks, checks his heart rate monitor, and explains to the bewildered barista that he’s a marathoner.

No one knows what to say to that, except something vaguely complimentary, like, “Wow, good for you,” or something inappropriately self-deprecating like, “Oh, I can’t run at all. I’m such a loser.”

He even got business cards made. They say Jackson Lowery, Marathoner, and his e-mail address: marathonjackson@hotmail.com.

The truth is, Jackson did run in a marathon. But he didn’t run the entire thing. Oh, he wasn’t sidelined by an injury or pushed to the ground by a passing Kenyan. No. He was on his freaking iPhone during the marathon, calling people.

“What are you doing?” they asked as he panted in their ears.

“I’m running a marathon,” he said.

He called me while I was making a cheese plate. It’s really hard to get the brie—you know, the yummy, gooey, cheesy part—out of the crappy wax layer, so I was struggling to hold the phone while I wrestled with the brie, and I accidentally hung up on him. Undaunted, Jackson called me right back.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing?” he asked.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m doing” I asked.

There was a long pause: the dawning revelation.

“Oh. Yeah. What are you doing?”

“Getting an exorcism.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My house is haunted, and now the evil spirits are all up in me. There’s nothing else I can do.”

“An exorcism! I’d really like to see that!” he panted.

“Well, come on over,” I said.

“But I’m running—”

“GOBBLEDY GOBBLEDY GOOK!” I screamed. “Sorry. Evil spirits.”

“That’s so cool! I’ll be right over.”

I returned to the brie.

*          *          *

Jackson was not soothed by the cheese plate.

© 2010 Wendy Grant

Wendy M. Grant is a writer and editor. She’s written innumerable advertisements, newsletters, and brochures, and she co-authored a book on the history of Naval Air Station Miramar. When she’s not writing and editing for the clients of her company, W-inkling, she works on her screenplay, which she plans to sell in 2011.

Human

Human

by Angela Carlie

The boy chomps into a sandwich. Flecks of oat and seed crumble from the bread, showering the picnic table. Cora would trade her good pair of gloves, the red ones without holes, for those precious pieces of nourishment forgotten by the boy. She ate her last full meal two days ago at the Share House in Vancouver. If she hadn’t hitched a ride with Dumb-head Jude, she’d probably be there now enjoying mashed potatoes or hot soup, instead of drooling over crumbs in Portland.

“I’ll take care of you, Cora,” Jude had said. “I’ve got a place lined up and everything.” Jerk. He ditched her at this park for some skank willing to put out, which Cora would have, too, if not for her little Blueberry. She can’t risk the diseases Jude most likely has. Not now.

A kick to the lungs. Cora gasps. Blueberry must be hungry.

Cora plows through the open garbage can, keeping one eye on the boy at the picnic table. He sets the sandwich on a napkin and then gulps liquid from a paper cup. Heat whiffs from the lidded container like smoke from a chimney on Christmas morning.

Her stomach rumbles. Dirty napkins, greasy paper plate, cracked water bottle, broken eye glasses, half-full tube of sunscreen, paper bag with soggy French fries inside. Cora stuffs a fry into her mouth—cold potato turns to mush between her teeth. She forces the remainder of grease-sticks down her throat, and then scrapes starchy film from her tongue with her three good teeth.

Pain zaps her lower back, another kick. Blueberry must be happy.

Cora lifts her duffle bag, her entire world, from the wet cement and waddles to a bench across from the picnic table. She tries to pull her coat tight around her mid-section, too large for the zipper to do any good. A one inch gap of Blueberry covered only by t-shirt remains exposed to the cold air.

Dozens of pigeons bobble on the sidewalk in front of the bench. Silly birds. If they knew anything, they’d be begging Sandwich Boy for his crumbs. Not a girl like Cora. She would love to share with them, but she has nothing to give. Besides, all her sharing has been with Blueberry lately. She can’t afford a single crumb for the birds, even if she had one.

A grey squirrel dashes through the orange and brown leaves clinging to the ground. It climbs a tree holding on to as many memories of summer as it can. But summer is over, and rain has stolen most the evidence of its existence.

Cora used to climb trees, a time ago, when her family had a home, and when she had a family. That was before the fire; Dad lost his job, Mom killed herself, and before Blueberry. Cora scaled giant trees along the creek with her sister. Mom called them her little monkeys.

They spent hours hanging from sturdy branches, talking gossip. Her sister was rumor central back then. If ever you needed the latest dirt on someone, she could give it to you. Cora loved her sister. She still does, if only she could find her.

Sprinkles from the sky create muffled music on the trees looming over the park bench.

Sandwich Boy jumps to his feet.

“Hey! Wait a sec.” Cora waddles across the marshy ground to the picnic table. “You gonna eat that?” She points with grubby hands to the crusts of bread the boy tossed aside after eating the important soft portion of his sandwich.

***

“No.” Finn pulls a hood over his head to keep his hair as dry as possible. Wet hair is bad. Especially with the amount of gel and time it takes to create such a masterpiece.

The girl with tattered clothes and a rotten stench snatches the remains of his sandwich from the table. She ravishes the bits of bread like a starving dog would a steak. Finn can’t help but notice her belly protruding from her open coat and remembers his brother they buried last year. His mom had no business trying to have another kid at her age. Heat rises under his collar.

Finn opens an umbrella before lugging a messenger bag over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Rain drips over Dirty Girl’s grin and she shuffles back the way she came.

Finn turns to leave, he’s got to get to class, but stops. He wishes he had some spare change, some extra food, something to give to her. What good would that do, though? She’d probably buy cigarettes or drugs with any handout. She needs to get a job. Most likely, she’s in the park looking for an easy way out, for people to feel sorry for her so she doesn’t have to work. Well, Finn works. He works and goes to school. Nobody gives him money.

Finn bolts across the street. With the amount he pays for tuition, he can’t afford to be late again, not unless he wants to fork out another wheel barrel full of cash to retake the class. A truck whizzes by, creating a wall of flying water that hits Finn’s backside. Great.

She should go home to her parents. Teens run away for the dumbest reasons. Sure, he hates living with his parents and abiding by their rules, but he has to if he wants a roof over his head. Give and take. Give some freedom for shelter, food and a warm bed.

Finn steps off the curb at NW Davis and 11th. His foot descends into a puddle, soaking his canvas Brewshoes. “Damn it.” They really should clear the leaves from the gutters.

Late by two minutes, Finn sneaks into the back row of the auditorium. The chair squeaks from his weight.

“Welcome, Finn.” Mr. Shaw throws a dramatic wave of his hand toward the back row. All heads turn. Nice.

Maybe she should go to a shelter. Portland has to have a place to house pregnant teens. All big cities have services like that. She needs to take the initiative to find a place for that baby. It’s not like she’s going to be able to pop it out in the middle of the park.

The class ends before Finn realizes it began. Well, that was lame.

Clouds share the sky with the sun. It sometimes does that here, usually just before sunset, like now. Water evaporates from the sidewalks, creating a fog that clings to the ground. An eerie energy fills the streets.

Adoption. That’s what she should do. Give the baby up for adoption. There are plenty of rich couples who would fork out a ton of cash to house and feed her until the baby comes. Then she repays them with the baby. Perfect.

Finn strolls through the glass doors of Pizza Country. He hates delivering pizza, especially in the winter time. At least they give him a dorky hat to wear so his hair doesn’t get wet.

Garlic, oregano, cheese, spices. Warm air wraps around Finn, comforting him. He wishes he didn’t have to go back out into the cold. He would live in the pizza restaurant if they’d let him.

Two orders wait for him under the heat lamp. He stuffs the boxes of pizza into insulated bags, ladles steaming chili into a large paper to-go cup, and then wraps several hot breadsticks in foil.

A giant plastic bag in the basket protects all the food from rain which has decided to dump all over Finn. He pedals faster and hits green lights on his deliveries.

Dirty Girl shivers on a park bench sheltered from the rain. The glow from a street lamp illuminates a make-shift bed. Finn steers toward her and stops once he reaches the bench. Her gaze doesn’t shift from the ground.

Finn climbs off the bike and opens the plastic bag containing bundles of nourishment. “Excuse me, Miss?”

Dirty Girl sits up with a start. She wipes her eye with a red gloved hand.

“What you need is a nice hot meal.” Finn gives her a cup of steaming chili and foil full of bread sticks.

The rain suddenly stops. Breath billows from their noses. Crickets chirp in the distance. Traffic buzzes by the park, splashing through puddles.

Dirty Girl smiles. She pops off the lid to the chili and slurps it into her mouth. One hand holds her belly. She laughs.

Baby must be happy.

© 2010 Angela Carlie