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Mini Sledgehammer: March 2011

What better way to celebrate International Women’s Day and Mardi Gras on the same day than to head to a wine and cheese shop to compete in a women-run writing contest?

This month’s writing prompts are:

Character: Women’s activist
Action: Sneaking
Setting: A church
Prop: Mardi Gras beads

With these prompts, tonight’s story topics ranged from an illicit affair to an angel with an agenda. Congratulations to Blythe Ayne for writing the winning story. Stay tuned to read it!

***

Angels to Nirvana

by Blythe Ayne

I was crawling around on the church floor after my Mardi Gras beads, which had mysteriously jumped their string and flown every which way in a wild jumble.

At that moment, in the middle of the rowdy carnival celebration on the street, a bunch of women’s activists came bursting through the door of the church. Don’t ask me how I figured that’s what they were, they just had an air of self assurance and determination to change the world for better.

The first one came up to me as I squatted under a pew, gathering my beads. She stepped on one of them. It went “crunch!” under her sturdy shoe.

“What are you doing, sneaking around on the floor of the church?” she asked.

“I…” I gestured at the beads, green and silver and orange all around her… “My string of beads broke, and I’m….”

“Never mind.” She waved to her compatriots, three other very sure-of- themselves looking women. They formed a crescent moon curve around her. Looking up at them, it was like a visitation. The street lights came through the stained glass windows making a halo around them. I felt like I was looking up at guardian angels. Gabriel, at least, for sure.

“This young man,” she continued, “has broken his string of Mardi Gras beads. Help him pick them up.”

The three women fell to their knees and scrambled around for the beads, under the pews, in the aisles… everywhere.

“How did you come to be in this church?” one of the women asked me. “Oh look, here’s seven beads, all together.”

“I don’t know. I was in the street, celebrating…” I looked into her eyes. They were that kind of hazel composed of green and brown and almost red segments. I stopped talking.

“Go on,” she said.

I… you… your eyes…..”

“I know, kind of strange, aren’t they?”

“But I’ve seen you… Do you know me?”

She shrugged, but looked away.

“Do you know me?” I asked again.

“Here’s another bead.” she moved across the aisle on all fours, but somehow so gracefully, almost floating, as if it was a well-practiced dance move.

I scrambled after her. Clearly less graceful. “You know me, don’t you?”

As she picked up another bead I reached out to stay her hand. A flash of light passed between her hand and mine.

“What the?….” I sat back on my haunches, stunned.

The first woman came up to us, standing over us, disapproving.

“Just gather the beads!” she ordered.

The hazel-eyed woman moved away from me, picked up another bead, but didn’t hand it to me.

“Give me the bead,” I said. She cautiously reached out her hand, her long fingers stretched impossibly toward me, she dared to look me in the eye. The flash of light passed between us again.

I know!” I fairly shouted. Then quietly I said, “I know where I’ve seen you. In my dreams. In my dreams,” I repeated. “Have you seen me? Do you know me?”

She looked over my shoulder.

“Yes,” she whispered, “yes, I know you. But just leave me in your dreams. You don’t want to bring me out into your real world.”

“What do you mean? You are in my real world.”

A saxophone player belted out a song in the street, a song I’ve never heard but felt I knew so well.

Just gather the beads,” she said. When you have 108, you’ll arrive.”

“What are you saying?”

“Count the beads–108–you’ll arrive in nirvana.”

I counted the beads, wanting only to look one more time into those strange, amazing eyes.

I counted 107 beads, then looked up, discovering that I sat on the sidewalk, under the saxophone player. He was about seven feet tall, his music came from far away.

“Hey…” I asked him, “Hey, did you see a hazel-eyed woman? An amazing hazel-eyed woman?”

He looked down at me and again, I felt like the guardian angel in the church window had come alive. He didn’t stop playing, but he nodded.

Yes, he’d seen her.

The faint lace of dawn crept up the sky behind the saxophone player, pink and pale orange. I looked down at my hands filled with Mardi Gras beads, longing to see the hazel-eyed angel again. But I knew I never would.

She had kept that one single bead to nirvana.

© 2011 Blythe Ayne

***

Blythe Ayne, Ph.D., lives on ten acres of forest on the north side of the Columbia River near Portland, Oregon.  She’s is an author, artist, and university instructor of writing and speech. Her written work has appeared in over one hundred publications.  This is her second Sledgehammer appearance.

Along with her writing, her greatest commitment is to the stewardship and preservation of her forest, where wonderful and diverse flora and fauna thrive.

2011 Dates Announced

Mark your calendars now for the 2011 Sledgehammer 36-Hour Writing Contest! We’ll take to Portland’s streets for our scavenger hunt on Saturday, September 17, 2011, and stories will be due by 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, September 18. Registration will open in August.

Let’s hear it from our past participants: Why do you Sledgehammer? For the adrenaline? To write? For the teamwork? Something else?

Mini Sledgehammer: February 2011

Can you believe it’s February already? The diamond companies certainly won’t let us forget. Why don’t we throw them a bone and write something loosely wedding based? Be romantic or cynical, literal or digital, but make it literary and use all the prompts!

Prompts:
character: a wedding planner
action: putting on the oxygen mask
setting: on an airplane
phrase: “I’m allergic.”

Only writers present can compete, but if you’re writing from home for fun, be sure to post your story to your own blog or website and then put a link in a comment below.

Thanks for writing!

Congratulations to Man Price, who says of his prize package, “I love all my new toys!”

***

"Self-Portrait"

What Money Can’t Buy

by Manchester Barry Price

Being rich is a mixed bag.  I know you’re all thinking, “Yeah, right!” and I understand how you feel.  The problem with being rich is that you have the money to do, basically, whatever you want, so there is this pressure to actually do it.  More specifically, you’re often pressured to do what everyone else says you want.

After I proposed, my bride to be, Sandy, picked New Zealand for our wedding and honeymoon.  I live in Utah for good reason: it’s mostly flat, there are few bodies of water, no hurricanes, no tornadoes, earthquakes are rare and you can go anywhere you want in your very own car.  “Sandy!  What are you thinking?  I can’t go to New Zealand.  Are you crazy?”  Sandy was not about to give me any slack.  She had thought this out; she had a plan.  Tough Love was to be her wedding theme.  “Why can’t you babe?” she cooed, “It’s just a plane.”  “Because I’m allergic!” I yelled.

“Allergic to what?”

“To everything!”

Cue the wedding planner and the life coach and the couples councilor and the hypnotist.  Cue the mock airplane.  Throwing money at the problem, Qantas delivered a shiny 747 flight trainer and every day for a month, our whole crew gathered.  We trained and trained and trained.

Just climbing the ladder and going through that small door had me freaked out.  “Keep coming, babe,” said Sandy.  “You can do it,” cried the rest of the team.  “Remember the visualization,” said Sandy, “Visualize a huge desert with nothing in it,” she said, because all the typical visualization scenes made me even more anxious; oceans and waves and hawks flying and just floating on the water.  So I visualized nothing but empty desert and made my way down the isle.  “Row, three!  Row nine!  Row eighteen,” they all cried, “You’re almost there!”

By row twenty-two I was on my hands and knees.  I was sweating, cursing, mumbling to myself, whining; and they were all happily and lovingly screaming at me to “Go, go, go; you can do it!”  I made it to row twenty-six, way the hell back.  It was like visiting all the levels of hell.  I pulled myself up into the chair and began hyperventilating.  The oxygen masks dropped down.  I had the clarity, the urgent sense of survival to remember the safety video we had gone over sixty times.  I got the string around my neck, the mask on my face and I looked to the seat beside me, ready to put a mask on the child who was always there in the video, but of course the seat was empty.

And then finally, my mask began to fill, and I had the first sense that I just might live.  I didn’t calm down right away, but it was better.  The wedding planner was rubbing my shoulders.  The hypnotist was mouthing the words, “Deserted desert… flat… alone… safe…”  Sandy was in the row ahead of me, her knees on the seat and leaning back to face me.  Her eyes were like all the pictures you’ve ever seen of God looking down and saying, “I am love.  You can do it.  You may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

They told me later that they had spiked the oxygen supply in the customized flight trainer with laughing gas.  I’m here to tell you; friends, that stuff works.  “Movie,” I’d drooled, “Where’s my cocktail and peanuts?  Get this baby up in the air and lets get cranking for New Zealand.”

My first training flight was a smashing success.  Literally, as it turned out.  Descending the ladder, still unbelievably high, I fell fourteen feet onto the tarmac and fractured ribs, broke bones, scraped, bruised, sprained; you name it.  We spent our honeymoon, four glorious weeks, at a secluded vacation spot in the high desert.  It was wheelchair equipped.

There’s talk of California for our first anniversary.  We can drive there in our very own car.

© 2011 Manchester Barry Price

***

Man Price eagerly awaits the March issue of The Sun; the first time his work will appear in print. He loaded Kerouac’s On the Road to his iPod in January. He just keeps listening, 34 days and counting. Man’s blog can be found at http://manprice.blogspot.com/

Mini Sledgehammer: November Bonus

We had a great time at the November Bonus Mini Sledgehammer at Third Street Books in McMinnville. We were joined by three creative writers and inspired by the book displays and holiday lights. ‘Tis the season!

Congratulations to Theresa Homolac and Daryll Alt, who each took home a prize package. We were impressed by your stories!

Prompts:
Character: a cartoon character
Setting: in a bookstore
Dialogue: “You’re not from around here, are you?”
Prop: umbrella

***

“Untitled”

by Theresa Homolac

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

The voice startles me. I give my umbrella a final shake, splattering water on the mat in front of the doorstep, and look around. Nobody. Must be a radio.  I step inside the bookstore.

The lady at the front register waves at me. I nod in return then walk toward the mystery section. I’m in the mood for crime.

The voice comes again as I thumb through an Agatha Christie classic. “You’re not from around here, are you?”

I flip the book over. Look around. “What’s it to you?” I ask.

The voice laughs. “Got you thinking you’re crazy, don’t I?”

“Hell no,” I say. “Only crazies won’t show their face.” I put the murder mystery down and walk to the children’s section. Glance around. Still nobody.

“So what’s your game?” I ask.

“No game,” the voice says. “Just that you’re not from around here, are you?”

I glance at the lady at the front desk. She’s shuffling a sales ledger. I grab a Charlie Brown kid’s book. Thrust it inside my coat.

“Gotta be so rough?” the voice says.

I don’t reply. Instead, shift the umbrella to my right hand, nod at the lady at the front register, and walk back out into the rain.

“You definitely aren’t from around here,” says the voice.

I smile. “Got that part right,” I say.

© 2010 Theresa Homolac

***

“The Morning After the Past Before”

by Daryll Alt

I’ve traveled through time and I’ve traveled through space.  I’ve memories laden with faces, and places, and feelings.  Childhood fled far too fast.  Loves and lovers have been both too few and too often lost.

In moments like these, in times like now, I am reminded of the philosopher, Bugs Bunny, who said, “What’s up, Doc?”  Indeed.

So often it was me in the driver’s seat.  Master of my own destiny.  Steering my life through, over, and around the bystanders I managed to notice.

Seemed to me I was always headed somewhere else.

“You’re not from around here.”  Was a common refrain.

The past.  Always running from it.  The future.  Always running to it.  It seemed like a simple thing.  I figured I wanted to get laid.  I figured she was lonely.  It happened before.

Play a few songs on an old beat up guitar in a coffee house, on a sidewalk, in a park, at a bookstore.  Lonely shows up everywhere.  I was thinking I knew it.  It sure as hell knew me, really, really well.

It caught me off guard.  It put me in the here.  It made me face now.  She was there.  Then she wasn’t.

Closing time was coming quick.  The owner of tonight’s venue was wrapping up and I glanced at my hat.  Six bucks.  Damn!  I realized it wasn’t so much about getting laid as it was about a shower and a soft bed.

So much for the here and now.  Put Old Guitar back in it’s case and, like the song says, “Hit the road.”  Of course it was raining.

I picked up my backpack and slung it over a shoulder.  Old Guitar and me moving on, now.  I looked out the window, and there she was.  Her raincoat was yellow.  So were her shoes.  Her umbrella was black.

I’ve traveled through time and I’ve traveled through space.  This one is something.  Maybe my traveling days are done.

© 2010 Daryll Alt

Mini Sledgehammer: November 2010

We had two Pams and a Pamela at this month’s Mini Sledgehammer, which almost swayed us to make one of the writing prompts someone named Pam–or a variation thereof–but we held strong with our pre-chosen prompts.

Prompts:
Character: spy
Action: painting
Setting: amid a scheduling conflict
Dialogue: “Spare some change?”

Congratulations to Pam Bejerano, who stole the prize!

***

Pam Bejerano

Henry stood staring at the work. It was a live exhibit and the canvass, it seemed, was being attacked by the artist rather than being painted. The man would stand for minutes, neither a muscle nor a strand of hair moving. Then suddenly he would burst into life, throwing, spraying paint, some even hitting the canvass. His grunts and moans of ecstasy made Henry feel he was intruding on a private encounter rather than watching someone paint.

“That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Henry turned to see the source of the voice. A young woman stood, watching the painter with an expression he could only imagine matched his own. She was his age, he hoped, with very curly black hair going off in several directions. Her clothes were comfortably disheveled, giving a slight air of purpose in their arrangement. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Yeah,” was the only brilliant line he found. Looking around desperately, he spotted the title and pointed to it. “Can you spare some change?” he whispered. She looked at him, her eyebrows wrinkling together above her nose. “The title,” he said, pointing again. “It’s called, ‘Can You Spare Some Change?'”

She read the name and they both immediately covered their mouths as laughter spilled out. With a dirty glare thrown at them by the artist they quickly turned and ran away. They were still laughing as they stumbled down the stairs into the main lobby.

“I’m Helen,” she said, still trying to catch her breath. “You must be Henry.”

For the first time in three months Henry had been forced to say yes to his co-worker Jake’s insistance on a blind date.

“She’s an old friend. You’ll love her, I swear.”

Henry usually claimed he couldn’t attend previous attempts to set them up due to scheduling conflicts. But tonight, he and his coworker both were supposed to be at a board meeting that was cancelled, so he was free. And now, here she was. And damn if Jake wasn’t right.

As the evening wore on his ease with her made it feel like he had known her forever. They ate dinner at South Park, finishing a bottle of wine then moving into the bar to start another. After that they walked the waterfront, talking, laughing. She did an amazing impersonation of the artist that made him laugh so hard his side hurt. By the time she said she had to go, it was midnight, and he was in love.

“I’ve had a really good time tonight, Henry,” she said, both hands clutching her purse.”

“Yeah, me too. You know,” he said, plunging his hands deep into his pockets, “it’s been a really long time since I’ve been out with anyone.”

Helen nodded, “I know.”

Henry paused and looked at her. “How do you know?”
“Well,” her voice suddenly tightened as her gaze scanned the street. “Well, that’s what, um, your friend, that’s what he said. That it had been a long time.”

“What friend?”

“You know, the one you work with.”

“The one you’ve been friends with for 10 years? That one?”

Helen laughed. “Yeah, of course.”

“Helen, what’s going on? Jake said you were old friends. If he set me up with a stranger…”

“No, no, it’s not his fault.”

“Fault?” Henry felt his neck go red.

Once, once in his life, he had agreed to a blind date. By the time he made it home that night with one shoe, no money and a broken nose he swore he would never go on a another blind date again. And yet here he was, on a blind date with a woman who was lying through her teeth.

“I’ve gotta go.” He said, and turned to leave. “You can tell Jake to go fuck himself.”

“Wait, wait.” Helen was suddenly in front of him, blocking his path. “Wait Henry, please. This isn’t Jake’s fault. I’ve never even met Jake.” Henry glared at her, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I’m a spy.”

“A what?” Of all the stories he expected to hear this was not one of them.

“I’m a spy. I don’t know who Jake is, but my friend Amanda told me to come here tonight and find someone named Henry. I was supposed to report back to her if you were…well…I mean…”

“Good looking enough to go on an actual date with?” Henry was fuming.

“No.” Helen took a deep breath. “The marrying type,” she said, her cheeks flushing in the street light.

“Well?” It was the only response he could find.

“I think I’m going to tell her no,” she said as she reached up and gave him a long, slow, kiss.

© 2010 Pam Russell Bejerano

***

Pam Russell Bejerano is a writer who works as an ESL director in Portland, Oregon. Pam has published a poem and was invited to read a short story at the Cannon Beach Historical Society. She is currently working on a novel to be completed in 2011. Pam’s blog can be found at http://clumsyseeker.blogspot.com/.