• Visit Indigo

    Sledgehammer is proudly presented by Indigo, which offers editing, design, and more to authors and publishers around the world.

    Visit us at www.indigoediting.com to learn more and to schedule a free sample edit and initial consultation.

    Indigo: editing, design,
    and more


    Sign up for our monthly e-newsletter.
  • Join Our Networks

  • Photo Gallery

    To view photos of Sledgehammers past, visit our Facebook photo albums!

    All photos property of Sledgehammer Writing Contest. Most photos copyright Doug Geisler.

“She Drives Me Crazy” by Kathryn Hughes

She Drives Me Crazy

Kathryn Hughes

I didn’t expect to spend my birthday picking through the racks at Dave’s Bargain Bonanza, Andi called and I couldn’t tell her no.

She’d greeted me with “Kristy, hi, don’t hang up!”, which was insulting.  If I’d wanted to not talk to her, I’d have just let it go to voicemail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLvpQtiYE3g

“Hi, Andi. What’s going on?”

“I need you.”

I rolled my eyes. “What?”

“I got an event dumped in my lap this morning, and it’s for tonight.  I need your help.”

The fact that she hadn’t yet said what she needed made me suspicious, but realized I was also mentally reviewing my calendar for the day.  My silence encouraged her.

“It’s a graduation party, and it’s right up your alley.  Shakespeare.”

I glanced at the Complete Works on my desk.  She knew me so well.

“Go on…”

She explained in a rush how her coworker who had been handling it was currently in the hospital with a broken foot, and what there was still left to do, which was a frighteningly long list for only one person.  She ended with, “Please, Babe. Please.” And it was so heartfelt that I found myself asking what I could do before I’d consciously decided to help.

“Get down to Dave’s and pick out our costumes.”

“What, go shopping at Discount Dave’s for some rich kid’s party?”

“It’s Dave’s kid’s party.  Yes, that Dave.  He said we can use anything we want in the store for free as long as he can still sell it in the morning.  Which means the budget he gave us for this is zero, Kris.  I need all the help I can get.”

I sighed.  I had the day off work, and no other plans until the evening.

“Okay, fine.  I’ll go costume shopping.  What do we need?”

We needed everything.  All the costumes.  For Romeo and Juliet.  When she told me it was set in the ’80’s, I almost backed out right then. Eeesh. But, it might be a decent adaptation, one never knows.  Besides, before I could gather my wits, Andi had already hung up.

Not long after, I found myself pushing a cart with three rogue wheels and a squeak, looking over a rack of not-quite-magenta pants, picking up and discarding several jackets with buttons too far to the left, and going through a rack of shirts with one sleeve longer than the other.  At least those, we could roll up the sleeves and they’d look fine.

An hour or so later, I had several choices in varying sizes, because Andi didn’t know anything about her actors.  Based on the options available, the Capulets were going to be in hot pink and the Montagues in neon green.  I also picked up some double-sided tape for holding the tags down, since apparently we couldn’t take them off, and a couple of toy swords for the fight scenes.  I was headed to the checkout when my phone buzzed.  It was Andi.

“Need balcony Out of ideas Hlp, plz”

Seriously? I texted back. “I’m not a carpenter. Sorry.”

Seconds later, her reply: “No need to b weight bearing just something 2 stand behind”.

Well, the gods of the theater must have been smiling on her.  I looked up from my phone to wind up staring at a box for a kid’s soccer kit, and one of the kids was standing behind a goal made of PVC pipe and netting.  Ignoring the fact that clearly whoever designed the box didn’t know how to play the game, or how tall a goal should be, it was still a pretty good idea.  I detoured to the home section to see if they carried piping.
**
The production was apparently happening in the “Bonanza Cafe”, in the basement of the store.  The walls were each a slightly different shade of yellow.  It bothered me.  I was also sort of amazed that Dave would be willing to forgo the income from hungry shoppers for a day, since the clerk at checkout insisted that I pay for the double-sided tape.  He couldn’t donate $2.89, really?  But at least I didn’t have to fight the cart past customers to reach the backstage area-if “stage” was the right term for that tiny raised platform at one end of the room.

Backstage was controlled chaos…without much control.  I found Andi by following the sounds of yelling.  She was standing in the middle of what was probably a bathroom, waving her ever-present clipboard and issuing orders to anyone who crossed her line of sight.  She’d dyed her hair a brassy sort of red and she was more tan than I remembered.

“Kris! Hi!” When she saw me, she sort of flung herself at me.

“Oof, hi.”

“You made it!” Also insulting.  I said I’d be there, didn’t I?

She did that thing where people hold you by the shoulders at arm’s length.  I’d never met anyone in real life who actually did that, until her.

“You’ve put on weight, are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine, Andi.” She saw the cart and changed topics in a heartbeat.

“Oh, you brought the costumes, fantastic!  That’s a lot, how many did you bring?”

“About two and a half for each role, you didn’t tell me how many actors you had.”

“Oh, wow!   You memorized how many characters are in the play?  You’re fantastic, Kris.”

I shook my head. “Wikipedia.”

“Okay, well, let’s get everything started, then.  I need you to be in charge of the backstage and the actors, and-“

“Andi. It’s my birthday.”

“I remember, babe. Thank you so much for giving up your day to help us out here.  It means so much to me.”

And before I could marshal any other arguments, she was directing me to supervise the fitting and distributing of costumes.  I never planned to give up my day; she’s just lucky that I didn’t have a party that evening.  It’s tough to have a birthday on a Wednesday.  I got the actors into a line and eventually got almost everyone sorted into something resembling an outfit, with a few more trips upstairs to get a better fit.  Andi grabbed me before I could finish with Mercutio and steered me toward the front.

“Go talk to the caterers, babe.  They can finish up here.”

“I have no idea what I’m doing with caterers! I don’t know anything about this event!  You’re the one hired to make it come out right, why can’t you talk to them?”

“Because, I need to make sure the playlist is right.”

The what? And then she was gone.  I was going to need to get quicker about saying “no” to her.  There was a man in a chef’s jacket standing next to the coffee counter, looking impatient, and a brunette woman wearing a blue sleevless dress standing near the door.  I glanced at her again.  Where did I know her from?  The chef came forward and shook my hand.

“Hi.  Where do you want everything?”

“Um.” I looked around.  “Along that wall?”

“All of it?” the incredulity in his voice had me suddenly very worried.

“Uh, yes? Why?”

The lady stepped in and rescued me.  “We’d better split it up, half on this wall and half on the other.”

The minute I heard her speak, I knew who she was.  I’d seen her playing Nurse Ratchet just last week.  She had good stage presence.  I still couldn’t recall her name, but I felt better having placed her face.  To my delight, she took over seamlessly with the caterer.  I made my escape, but I didn’t get far.  The pile of pipes and connectors I’d brought in were all over the “stage” with three teenagers and Andi standing around staring at them.

“Kris, perfect!  This is your baby, you’d better be the one to put it together.”

I protested that it wasn’t my anything, but she insisted that I’d been the one to have the idea and therefore it was simpler to have me be the one to put it together.  Only my hands could make reality match my vision, apparently.  Arguing with her was impossible, so I started attaching pieces.

I was sitting there, fuming at the world and moments away from just walking away and leaving Andi to her own mess, when I smelled her coming up behind me.  Despite having broken up months ago, one good whiff of her perfume still set my heart racing.  I turned.  Even better, she had a salami sandwich and a coke.

“Here, you started getting scowly, so I figured you probably needed lunch.”

“Thanks, Lem.” I hadn’t intended to call her that, it slipped out in a moment of gratitude.

**
Post-sandwich, I felt much better.  I got the balcony assembled without too much trouble, though we were running out of time.  It looked something like a metal version of a baby corral, adult size, and with only three sides.  I figured that would be easier than trying to make a single rail be somehow self-supporting.  I’d picked the darkest color of pipe they had and in the dim lighting, it looked almost like something you’d see in New Orleans.  Not too shabby, for being made of nonstandard lengths.

Somebody bellowed at me to move. I picked up the balcony and swung it out of the way for a pair of guys wheeling in what was unmistakably a karaoke machine.

“Andi! What’s going on?” I gestured to it.

“The party’s…” she beckoned me closer so she could whisper.  “The party’s for two guests of honor. It’s a graduation and an anniversary; he wanted to throw them one party together.  They couldn’t agree on a theme, so he mashed them together.”

Well, that explained the 80’s Shakespeare.

“That’s an odd combination.”

She pointed to the chairs, where the audience was starting to trickle in. Front and center was Dave Himself, wearing his trademark alligator cowboy hat, flanked by two women who looked nothing alike.  On his left, Nurse Ratchet, watching the last minute activity on the stage. It seemed she’d gotten things sorted with the caterer.  On his right, someone I would have cast as Peroxide Blonde Number Four (the non-speaking role), in something purple with sequins.

“Okay,that’s an odd pair.  Which is which?”

Andi fidgeted.  “The blonde’s his wife.  His third wife”

The clarification was unneeded.  The woman on Dave’s right couldn’t possibly be anyone’s mother- she looked like she was not yet drinking age.

“How old are they?”

She checked her notes. “Daughter, Amanda, graduated with a masters of fine arts 25, wife, Rachel, 22.  It’s tehir first anniversary.”

Okay, so she was actually old enough to have the glass of wine in front of her.  I walked away to prevent myself from saying something I might regret.  Andi came back moments later with another coke.

“Babe, I need you to run the karaoke machine.”

I stared at her.  I wanted no part of this farce. I had dinner plans. I was not going to do it.  She pushed the can into my hand.

“Please. Kris, I know it hasn’t been the greatest day for you, and I’m sorry, but I really really need you.  You’re the only person in this building who’s competent.  I’ll make it up to you.  Somehow.”

Those pleading eyes. I sighed. I gave in.  She hugged me and for a moment, I wondered why we’d broken up.

“Great, go talk to that guy and get the playlist, here’s your cues.  I need this to be perfect, so can you, just, like, look it over and make sure you’ve got it?”

Ah, yes.  That was why.  I pulled out my phone and texted Jackie. “Stuck doing something else, sorry.  Can we postpone dinner?” She replied a few minutes later. “Yes, of course.  It’s better this way, I’m beat, worked a double.  Happy happy day, favorite cousin!”  I smiled.  She called all of us her favorite.

**
The cues and playlist were a disaster so bad it actually became pretty great.  Every scene had a song to go with it.  Mercutio’s speech about Queen Mab was followed by “Rock Me, Amadeus”, although I might have chosen “White Rabbit”, but that was a 60’s song, I think.  The scene where Juliet waits for her Romeo was followed with “Like a Virgin”, and the climactic scene, where Romeo poisons himself and then Juliet kills herself with his dagger, was followed with “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight”.

As the final words from the prince settled into our ears, I hit “play” on the last song in my queue.  The prince grabbed the mic and took a shaky breath.

“Love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry… On a mountain high…”

It must have been set to start at the chorus.  Andi and I looked at each other.  I remembered dragging her to see romantic plays when we were together.  She smiled at me.  I smiled back.  With all the love in the air, even though the actors were really amature, I was still feeling ike I could forgive anyone.  Andi reached out like she wanted to hold my hand. The prince went on.

“The road is long, there are mountains in our way, but we climb a step every day…” We’d had some good days, she and I. The song ended, everyone bowed.  Andi mouthed “thank you” at me.
While everyone was filing out, I was feeling pretty good.  I’d helped a friend out of a jam, and I hadn’t even killed anyone.

And then Andi shattered it.  “Kris, don’t go yet, I need you to help get everything cleaned up and put back.”

I held my hand up to stop her.  “Andrea. I am tired.  I have been here, all day, at your request.  I cancelled my plans.  I have fitted costumes, made a balcony railing, and spent more time in this building than is healthy for me, I’m sure.  I.  Am.  Done!”

She reached in her purse and offered me a cigarette.

I shook my head.  “I don’t want that.”

“Yes, you do.  You haven’t had a smoke break all day, no wonder you acting like a- like this.”

I gritted my teeth.  “I quit, Andi.  Thirty-nine days ago.”

She placed the cigarette in my hand. “Oh, that’s why you’re looking chubby.  Just go have this one, you’ll feel so much better.  It’s just one.”

She never smoked.  She still carried those around for me, unless her new girlfriend smoked my brand.  But she had no idea what she was asking.  I did want it.  I wanted that thing so bad my teeth itched.  Again, I couldn’t tell her no.  I took it.

Standing outside the back door, I realized I didn’t have a lighter.  I was debated between going back in to find one or simply chewing on the cigarette, when I heard the door open behind me.

“Here.” It was Dave’s daughter, the actress.  I looked at what she was offering.

“Gum?” She tipped the package so I could see the label.  Ah.  Nicorette.  “Thanks.” I took a piece.

“I heard what happened.  I’m quitting, too, so I know how it is.”

“Thank you.  I’m Kristy.  Happy graduation

“Amanda. Thanks.”

The night was a little chilly.  Somewhere a dog barked.

“I saw you in Cuckoo’s Nest.  You were good.  Sorry your party came out like that.”

She smiled.  “Thank you.  I liked that one.  As for the party, it was more for my dad than me.  My graduation’s not even until Friday, but he insisted that he wanted to celebrate tonight.” She rolled her eyes.  “Probably so he can ‘celebrate’ with Rachel on Friday.”

Andi called after me. “Kris? Are you ready yet?”

I glanced at the door, looked back to Amanda.  “Well, I hope your actual day is a good one, then.”

“Did I hear you say you’d canceled your plans?”

I was embarrassed.  “Just postponed, my cousin and I always have birthday dinners together.” I mumbled.

“Today is your birthday? Well, let me make it up to you.  Come have dinner with me on Friday, we’ll celebrate both of us.  Without karaoke.”

I laughed.  “Sure, that sounds great.”

“Can I get your number?” I nodded.  “My phone is in my car, though.” She gestured to her dress- no pockets, no purse.

“I’ll walk you to your car, then.” I smiled.  Andi would be fine without me.

© 2015 Kathryn Hughes

“Just Like Heaven” by Heidi Sterling

Just Like Heaven

Heidi Sterling

 

There’s really no end to this, the ice roads, the linty snow collecting on the windshield, the reverberation of winter, a song that keeps playing over and over. Driving slow and hunching forward, trying to understand where to turn the wheel.

I’ve missed the turn again. She said not to come over. Never call again (texted in all caps). My face is unwelcome. The key didn’t turn in the lock. All of my things were in boxes on the front landing, neatly packed. She even used tissue paper and bubble wrap.   I couldn’t stop crying. The snow keeps moving, another universe unravelling, and I am lost.

*******

Thursday nights at Drapek’s I would order an Old Fashioned and try to hide in the corner, but I was always rooted out. It was my hair—buzzed short—and my multiple ear piercings—my gender-neutral attire. Hanes T-shirts. Cargo pants. People didn’t know if I was a boy or a girl. I confused the women coming out of the stalls in the cramped restroom. I didn’t jive with the small-town, by-the bootstrap clientele. Bush/Cheney bumper stickers on the back of pickup trucks. I wanted to take it easy and have an open mind. Some folks were friendly and treated me like one of their own. Mostly women, but some men. They tried.

I could have gone anywhere else in the city, but I kept finding myself here. Every week. Because of her.

She would sing karaoke every Thursday, and her church-pure voice was worth the harassment I sometimes got as I nursed my Old Fashioned in the far corner—puffy seat, red and shiny, cloudy Formica table top.

She wasn’t what anyone would call beautiful, but she had large eyes that seemed on the verge of tears, always. That appealed to me on a visceral level. I couldn’t stop staring. Her face was uneven, her hair thin. Sometimes it was dyed blond, other times a garish red that made her features appear shadowed and ghostly. The night she talked to me, it was deep brown, like Midwest soil in the fall. At some angles, she looked very young, almost like a little girl. Others, she looked older, more worn down and wounded.

“You always order the same drink, sit in the same place.” She smiled shyly. There was years of pain behind the smile. Her skin was mottled. She carried herself small even though she was a rather tall girl. Her fingernails were bitten to the quick. Despite that, her hands looked royal to me, dainty and careful. I wondered what kind of childhood she had survived.

I had replied, “What can I say? I’m a creature of habit.” I took a sip of my drink and tried to calm myself down. Talking with her suddenly made me feel like I had made the right choice to stay in Brenton and continue working at the discount store. Everyone else left and went to college. I had no idea what I wanted or needed to do. I would paint until 1 am, drink, fall asleep, clock in at Scratch and Dent, start over. There was no real direction. My mom would call daily, crying. “What are you going to do, Amanda?” I never could figure out the answer.

I liked it when people called me Mema. It fit me better. My brother Ty gave me the nickname when he was a little tyke and couldn’t pronounce “Amanda.” He died when he was 16. Aortic aneurysm. I’ve never recovered. I still sleep in his Chicago Bears T-shirt. I still rage and cry. It’s been 4 years.

She got used to me coming Thursdays, and sometimes would sing my requests, usually Tom Waits or Nick Drake, and occasionally The Cure. She sang “Just Like Heaven” fervently. It was her favourite, and she would stand up tall and become more animated and girlish when I asked for it. I didn’t request it often, just so I could keep it special, like a memento you take out of a box every now and then to look at, savour, remember, and then put back. The old would always stay new.

***

Drapek’s had two levels. The second storey contained a dance floor, as well as a secret balcony that only the staff had access to.   She took me there one night after closing. 3 am. The snow was falling in white gusts and the streets were iced cakes, frosting and shimmer. She was wearing a pink coat with a fake fur collar—soft rabbit—and brown corduroy pants. She was shivering, her arms folded across her chest—the way I used to fold my arms over myself when I was in line for communion but didn’t feel worthy enough to receive. Arms folded—a signal for the priest to bless you instead of giving you the Host. I felt the blessings through my whole body. Hands gently placed on my head. Peaceful. I was rarely touched as a child—no contact. So little affection. The communion wafer meant nothing to me. The blessings became a habit, a need. I kept going to church just for that reason.

On the balcony she looked at me and said that I was “so different from everyone else.” We had talked a little off and on, but never for more than a few minutes at a time. The snow felt warm, cottony. I leant against the balcony railing and tried to appear composed, but my heart was wild and hot. She looked like a child again, quivering and sad. I attempted to take her hand, but she turned away and looked down into the street below. Cars were moving slowly, headlights glinting off crystal. “Mema,” she murmured. “No one here would understand that kind of love.”

***

Two months later I was walking to work. February, and the ground was brutally hard, dirty grey ice, sheets of cracked glass. She suddenly appeared, corner of Valley and Tyler. I hadn’t seen her for weeks. I had disappeared, retreating to dark spaces to paint, drink vodka, and wander in and out of uninviting taverns with no sweet voice or corner booth, no balcony and aching need.

“Kitty?” I said. I think it was the first time I had ever spoken her name aloud. She nodded and burst into tears. I found myself pulling her into my arms, her thin form shaking, her skin touched with rose oil, her face wet and cold. I didn’t bother calling my manager to explain my absence from work. My apartment was two blocks away, worst part of town, bars on the windows, but she didn’t seem to notice.

It was warm inside—radiator heaters ticking, hot water gurgling. I made coffee, and she drank it down quickly and asked for another cup. Her eyes were rimmed with red, dark underneath, violet with lack of sleep and heavy emotion.

“Why haven’t you come to see me sing?” Her lower lip was quivering violently.

“I just thought that one night when you said—”

“I don’t care what I said. It was stupid what I said.” She began crying again, but waved me away when I tried to comfort her. “I pushed you away. It’s my fault for being so scared and cowardly.”

I approached her again, more carefully now, and this time she accepted my advance, my arms cautiously enfolding her, my hands touching her hair, now dyed pink with streaks of purple. I kissed the top of her head, then her cheeks, her closed eyes, her soft mouth. She had been drinking, some kind of sweet wine. I kissed her again, and she put her arms round my waist.

“I don’t know what to do.” Her voice was imploring.

It was so soft, so delicate. Her love. She was quiet and timid. Her eyes were calm. My room was cluttered, paint brushes and canvases everywhere, bed unmade. The sharp scent of oils and turpentine. Winter was cold, winter was warm. Snow and flannel sheets, blue walls, coffee, paint, and nights at Drapek’s. Her portrait—I was so careful, using only the finest brushes. She held my hand in public and ignored the stares. We had pie at Shari’s after she got off work. I drove her around in my old Buick Wildcat. She thought the interior was “swank.” No one ever used that word anymore, and I laughed. It made me miss the days before mobile phones and computers, even though I was born into the rush and clatter of it all. She made me miss things before my time, made me miss everything and yearn for it again.

***

A year later I was hardly ever at my place, always at hers. Downtown, a large flat above a trendy department store. We could hear the cars and people, a human stream, endless. The lights moved past her lace curtains and hardwood floors, made patterns over her searching face. I could sense her love was fragile. It could shatter at any moment. She sang four nights a week now at Drapek’s, and I saw her less and less. I took an extra night shift at Scratch and Dent to help pay off my credit card debt. My mom stopped calling. Stopped trying. I still got letters in the mail from colleges I had applied to years before, but had forgotten in the midst of my feverish love and confusion.

Kitty had followers, mostly men. One of them kept coming round, bought her drinks, spoke sweetly to her. He was older, had a moustache, talked real slick, was a fixed part of the ilk of the pub. I could see her mind working, wondering if she wouldn’t be better off with a more conventional set up, a big strong man with a cowboy hat and a clean, safe truck that ran decent, and money to spare. House out in the country. Kids one day. She was slipping away, and my rage for Ty’s death was slowly being supplanted by my rage for Kitty’s waning affections. I couldn’t sleep at night. She moved to the couch and let me toss and turn in her big double bed.

Cowboy hat talked to me one evening. “She’s a special one.” He was drinking whiskey and watching her sing with that leering glint that men get when they know they’ve won. His moustache was slightly wet. He had deep grooves in his cheeks and a stubbled square chin. He looked like he had done hard time.

“She’s mine,” I said quietly, but he didn’t notice and kept on drinking and leering. He smiled to himself, glancing at me sideways.

Kitty didn’t come home that night. Or the next. Her phone went straight to voicemail. She didn’t show at Drapek’s for a week. “On holiday,” the bartender said and shrugged.

***

Saturday I was ringing up a customer’s items at Scratch and Dent, throwing the items into the bag, hard and thoughtless. “Young man,” the woman said sharply. The top of the paper bag cut into my arms and wrists—all kinds cuts and scratches, like I was a junkie. Paper bags and sharp reprimands. “I’m not a man,” I mumbled. She took the bag and sneered. My manager called me over later and said I needed to work on smiling more, following the protocol listed on the sheet taped to the side of the registers: Smile. Ask if the customer has found everything they were looking for. Thank them for their business. 1-2-3. He squeezed my shoulder and tried to look concerned.

Midnight. The door to her place opened and closed softly, but the sound ripped me out of my sleep.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

I realised I had never really loved anyone romantically in my entire life. Kitty was the first. I was smothering her, possessing her, unable to stop the jealousy and fear. She looked startled and pale, shocked by my cursing. She was wearing a new dress—something tight and red and gaudy that clashed garishly with her fragile, unconventional ways—something that was someone else’s idea of femininity. The dress cut into me. It felt it like a knife pressed against my throat.

“I left a note.”

“It explained nothing.”

“Mema—”

“Don’t call me that.” I started to cry for the first time since Ty died. “Don’t call me that after leaving here for a fucking week with no explanation.”

Kitty cleared her throat and watched me dispassionately. “The people here keep talking,” she started to explain. There was no emotion in her voice. She was already a husk, scooped out, replaced with another version that fit into society nice and smooth.

“Shut up.” I knew what was coming. I grabbed my backpack, stuffed my wallet and keys inside, a few T-shirts, stalled for a moment pretending to search for something, hoping she would stop me, beg me to sit down, but she just watched me as if I were a flickering image on a screen. A passive image that you could turn off when you were done, ready to move on. The tears turned to silent sobs.

The night was deep blue. The Wildcat took 20 minutes to warm up. I scraped furiously at the windshields with a palette knife I found underneath the driver’s seat. My hands were frozen and throbbing, and I could barely hold onto the wheel. I drove for an hour, then parked at Scratch and Dent and slept in my car, turning it on periodically to run the heater when the cold became unbearable, using an old paint sheet for a blanket, and a wad of T-shirts as a pillow. I had no place to go. I tried calling my mom, but it was 2 am and she would never have her phone on this time of night. I dialed Ty’s old number, and it went to a stranger’s voicemail—a loud, perky girl with an airhead accent full of exclamation points telling me to leave my message at the beep. I hung up and wished I had taken my bottle of vodka with me. Somehow sleep, and then morning, and then remembering everything, and I just kept driving.

***

A few days later I went to Drapek’s and found my booth empty and ordered two shots of vodka. She was singing a Garth Brooks song. Cowboy hat was there watching her with an easy comfort. He was drunk and laughing loudly with some friends. I approached him during a cheesy Bette Midler request, grabbed him by the arm, spun him around, and hit him hard in the jaw. He chuckled, rubbing his face, and said he didn’t know a queer could pack such a punch. I found myself being carried out by two heavy men with plaid shirts and hard boots. One of the men I recognised—someone Ty used to go to school with. “Eric?”

“Yeah, Amanda, I’m sorry.” He blushed and lowered his eyes. “My manager—”

“I know.” I stumbled on the ice and waved him off. “Forget about it. I’ll never be coming here again.” He tried to help me up, but I pushed him away angrily. “I said I’m fine.” His face looked ashen, same as the wet snow crushed around our feet. He disappeared, and I sat hunched in the cold for many minutes, unable to move or feel or care.

Her all-caps text message ordering me to never call her again came shortly afterwards. All caps meant she had already forgotten the quiet words she had used with me, the slow days reading books or watching TV, the ice cream cones and morning sweet rolls, the hot summer skies caked with clouds, the necklace with the two stars entwined, the balcony, the brave nights we danced close in the crowd, the park, the hotel swimming pool after hours, the roses, the baths, bare feet touching, her picture in my wallet, her portrait, her face, her eyes, my eyes, my hands, my love, and everything else.

*******

I finally see the turnoff. A skinny dirt road 5 miles outside of town—a quaint name: “Knoll Brook.” Large white house with a wrap-around porch and a swing.. A Christmas tree glows in the window—all white lights. I see nothing of her here. I picture her as a ghost floating through the large house, unable to find her way out, weeping helplessly. I feel my heart clench. It’s been a month. I need to stay away, but I have to try one last time.

The doorbell is charming, a pleasant tune. For a moment, I can hear her voice singing “Just Like Heaven.” I remember she used to laugh at the clumsy way I danced. She liked my brown skin. She didn’t understand why I wanted to stay in Brenton. “You,” I would say. “You.”

I hear someone approaching, light feet, her feet. The cadence, the same way it sounded on her hardwood floor downtown. I suck in my breath and stiffen as the door opens. Our eyes find each other, hold on to one another for a second, then break away.

“Amanda,” she says unsmiling, but something in her eyes is moving, breaking. She looks older, more shattered. Her hair is platinum blond, cut short, exposing her sharp jaw.

“Kitty.” It’s all I can say. My voice is choked, there is no breath, no more words. I struggle for several moments, then finally, “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.” I hear a man’s voice from somewhere deep within the pristine universe of the house, and I turn quickly and break into a jog towards my car. The cold is alive, biting, sterile and absolute.   It freezes my eyes over, holds them open wide and fierce.

When I reach for the car door, I feel a tentative hand on my arm. “Mema.”

Kitty turns me around. “I’m sorry.”

“You love him?”

She doesn’t move or speak. Her eyelids sink closed and silvery tears slip down her tired face. “Will you still come watch me sing sometimes?” She doesn’t look up. Her tears turn to silence again. The blizzard engulfs us quietly.

The man’s voice calls. She moves her head slightly, a child being ordered home, turns back to me and says she has to go, then slips back into the house. The door closes, a slow shutting down of the world, and she and I become ghosts again. Just like we always were.

I climb inside the Wildcat and drive away, my tires leaving deep black wounds behind me in the fresh snow.

© 2015 Heidi Sterling

“Introducing Mrs Elliot Winston IV” by Harriet Cooper

Introducing Mrs Elliot Winston IV

Harriet Cooper

Marla clutched a lace monstrosity of a bridal gown her mother had picked out for her against her chest. Her fingers rhythmically opened and closed on the scratchy material, a screech fighting to claw its way out of her throat. She knew if she opened her mouth, she’d scream the whole store down. Within minutes, half the town would know that she, Marla McBride, had had a semi-public meltdown. Within an hour or two, the other half of the town would also know, but by then the story would probably include drunkenness, public indecency and matricide.

The way she felt right this minute, drunkenness and matricide both looked good. Instead, she squeezed the material once more and sighed deeply.

“Aren’t you at least going to try it on?” her mother demanded, misunderstanding Marla’s sigh the same way she had misunderstood everything about her daughter pretty much from the time she brought her home from the hospital. “You’ve said no to all the other ones I’ve brought you. Though I don’t know what was wrong with them. A little lace might make you look feminine for once, not all buttoned up and boring the way you usually look. Lord knows what Elliot sees in you, but he must see something since he’s marrying you.”

Her mother leaned in and whispered, just loud enough for the saleswoman hear. “I hope you and he aren’t, you know, doing the nasty. Remember, a man doesn’t buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.”

Content she had done her duty, her mother pulled her suit jacket down over her doublewide hips and reapplied the deep orange lipstick that matched her bad dye job.

Marla closed her eyes for a minute and wondered how many years in jail she’d get if she actually killed her mother. If there was just one woman on the jury under 30, she was sure she’d at least get a hung jury. She smiled at the thought. The smile vanished as she considered the dress, her mother and Elliot. Poor sweet dependable Elliot. Poor sweet dependable Elliot who loved her. Poor sweet dependable Elliot who was the third richest man in town.

She shrugged. She could do a lot worse than marrying him and, catching sight of herself in the mirror, decided he could also do a lot worse. She wasn’t a lush like Ella Sue, a nymphomaniac like Jessica, or a downright vicious bitch like Debbie – all of whom were his social equals, all of whom Elliot had dated in the past and barely escaped from alive. If his mother hadn’t intervened, he might have married any one of them.

Which brought her to her next thought. Why hadn’t Mrs. Elliot Winston III intervened when her only son and heir announced he was marrying her? It wasn’t like she had grown up on the right side of town. Her family barely made it into the respectable category. Her father had been the accountant for the town’s discount department store and, showing a true lack of imagination, had married his secretary and then died early. At least he’d had the foresight to buy a house and a paid-up life insurance policy that doled out just enough money for his wife and daughter to live decently, provided they were willing to work. Her mother went back to being a secretary but couldn’t nab another husband.

Marla had worked any job that paid and wasn’t illegal and, with the help of a partial scholarship, had earned enough to pay for a law degree at a second-rate school.

Reviewing what she knew of her other relatives, Marla was pretty sure none of them were in jail, certifiably insane, or had congenital diseases to pass down to their children. Dullness and a general lack of ambition, she reminded herself, were not diseases, even though they ran through most of her family.

A voice broke through her reverie. “Marla,” her mother repeated, “aren’t you going to try on that dress?”

Marla looked down at the dress as if seeing it for the first time. “No,” she said, “I am not going to try on this abomination. I’m going to …” she looked around at the racks, “I’m going to find something that won’t make me look like a clown.” She hung up the dress and began flicking through the other dresses on the rack. Too ugly. Too big. Too … she didn’t think there was a word to describe how horrible that dress was. Why is it, she asked herself, that the uglier the dress, the more it cost? No way in hell was she throwing away $5000 on a dress she’d only wear once.

Then, squeezed inbetween two frothy ball gown monstrosities, she found a simple off-white, one-shoulder sheath. She looked at the price tag and smiled. $1000. Reduced from $3000. After the wedding, she could cut it down, dye it and wear it again. She might be marrying money, but old frugal habits die hard. Besides, having money and wasting it didn’t go together for long.

She slipped the dress off the rack and carried it to the dressing room before her mother could get a good look at it. She came out a few minutes later and studied her reflection in the mirror. The dress skimmed her body, accentuating the few curves she had while looking elegant and sophisticated. She’d found her dress.

“But honey, that’s so plain. Where’s the lace? The ruffles? The … the embellishments?”

Marla stared at her mother, once again wondering if there had been a slip-up in the hospital and some other woman was wondering why her daughter was into frills when she was so down-to-earth. But with her mother’s nose and mouth, but thank God not her hips, Marla knew there had been no mistake. “You should know by now that I’m not the lace and ruffle type.”

“But it’s your wedding,” her mother said, her voice turning into a whine. “Don’t you want to look special?”

“No, this is what I want to look like. Not a cake topper.” She motioned for the saleswoman and asked about alternations. Within five minutes, the dress was pinned for a better fit. Marla returned to the dressing room and emerged a few minutes later back in her own suit. She paid for the dress, made an appointment for a final fitting two weeks before the wedding and left the store, her mother following forlornly in her wake, gazing back at a mannequin wearing a dress with enough lace and frills to get her heart fluttering.

*******************

A week later, Marla was having lunch with her future mother-in-law on the patio overlooking an Olympic-sized pool set amid a luscious lawn and beds filled with flowers ranging from palest pink to deepest purple. Not quite sure why she’d been issued the solo invitation, since their previous relations had been cordial but distant, Marla had dressed conservatively in her usual suit and button-up blouse. Her only concession to the heat had been to remove her jacket which she draped over her chair.

Looking at Elliot’s mother, Marla noted the understated elegance of her peach linen dress which whispered designer label. Not an embellishment in sight. Once again, Marla was pleased she had chosen an equally understated wedding dress.

After some chit chat, followed by grilled chicken over a bed of mixed greens, her future mother-in-law sat back in her chair, a glass of ice tea in her hand. She sipped some, looking at Marla over the rim of the glass. She nodded, as if satisfied with what she saw. Then she put down the glass and learned forward in her seat and spoke. “I know you don’t love my son.”

Marla sat up straight, opened her mouth to disagree and then stopped. Mrs Elliot Winston III hadn’t asked her, she’d told her. But there was something in her tone–not accusing, almost amused.

As Marla thought about it, Mrs Winston continued. “Thank you for not lying to me. My son, while a perfectly nice young man and a competent lawyer who tries to do his best, is generally more loved for his money than his personality. Unfortunately, he takes after his father in that respect. While you,” she said, a faint smile on her lips, “take after me.”

“I’m going take that as a compliment.”

“Good, because that’s how it was meant. I assume you wondered why I didn’t object to Elliot marrying someone er, adequate shall we say, rather than someone from his own social circle.” At Marla’s nod, she continued. “Like many old-money families, blood tends to run thin after a couple of generations. Too many sons marrying women for looks rather than brains and ending up with children who have even fewer brain cells and a sense of entitlement replacing ambition and a strong work ethic. While my son is smarter than his father, something I take personal pride in, I don’t want stupid grandchildren. That’s where you come in. Your mother may be an idiot. But you’re not.”

Marla wasn’t a lawyer for nothing, she could smell a deal coming a mile away. She reached for her own glass of iced tea, sipped slowly as her mind worked through various possibilities. “You have my attention. Where are you going with this?”

Her future mother-in-law reached into her pocket and pulled out a dollar. “Here,” she said, handing it to Marla.

Marla took it, a puzzled expression on her face. A moment later she nodded and tucked the bill into her skirt pocket. “Client attorney privilege. Smart move. Since you’ve just hired me as your attorney, I can’t repeat any of this conversation, even to Elliot, without risking being disbarred.”

“I knew I was right about you. Now let’s get down to business. You want Elliot’s name and money. I want smart grandchildren. Let’s say three, in case one or two come up a bit short in the brains department. Genetics is chancy at best and I’ve always believed in hedging my bets.” She paused for a moment to let her comments sink in. “And if one of those children didn’t happen to resemble Elliot as closely as the others, I’m sure I wouldn’t notice. If I don’t notice, neither will anyone else. Though it would help if he or she looked a little like Elliot.”

Marla drew herself up in her chair. “I’ve already admitted I’m not in love with Elliot, but I’m not marrying him with the intent of cheating on him.”

Her future mother-in-law smiled. “Maybe not now, but ten years into the marriage you might change your mind. If my husband had lived longer, I’m pretty sure any children I had after Elliot would have flunked their paternity test. Unfortunately, my husband suffered his fatal accident before that happened.” She paused and looking into the distance. “A poorly constructed balcony rail gave way at the wrong time.”

“Or possibly the right time?” Marla said, eyes narrowing as she surveyed the woman sitting across from her.

A soft laugh greeted the statement. “Let’s just say the timing was fortuitous. My husband, along with being an overbearing bully, was also an unrepentant philanderer who was thinking of trading me in for a newer and younger model. I had no desire to be the ex-Mrs Elliot Winston III. Too many of my friends have ended up that way, spending their days drinking and their nights looking for younger men to make them feel better about themselves. One of them actually found her latest boy toy while she was singing karaoke, off-key I have no doubt, at some disgusting club.” She shuddered.

“Why are you telling me all this now?” Marla asked, fingering the bill in her pocket. “Client attorney privilege notwithstanding, no one’s interested in dragging up a cold case from 20 years ago.”

“I’m telling you because I recognize a younger version of me in you. I want to make sure we understand each other perfectly. While Elliot, thank god, doesn’t take after his father in many ways, he’s still a man. Men stray. I would hate for Elliot to die – accidently, of course – before his time. Keep my son alive and relatively happy, and I’ll be your greatest supporter. Elliot wouldn’t be the first lawyer to step into the governor’s mansion. It wouldn’t hurt that his wife was also a lawyer, good-looking and quite ambitious.” Her eyes narrowed and her tone sharpened. “But mess with my son and I’ll be your worst enemy.”

Marla sat up, replaying the conversation and nodded. For the first time, she truly understood her future mother-in-law. The fact that she was marrying into a family with at least one murderer didn’t bother her. She’d been a lawyer for five years. Little surprised her. In fact, the only thing that surprised her was how much she liked Elliot’s mother. Marrying Elliot might prove to be much more entertaining than she had thought.

With her brains and Elliot’s family money and connections, she could see herself in the governor’s house. One day, one of her children could reach even higher. Mrs Elliot Winston IV, with the support of Mrs Elliot Winston III, could look forward to a very nice life. And if things didn’t work out, well, Mrs Elliot Winston III wouldn’t be around forever, would she? If not a wobbly balcony rail, maybe a slip in the tub or a fall down the stairs. Don’t most accidents happen in the home?

Marla raised her glass and saluted her new best friend.

© 2015 Harriet Cooper

“In Pieces” by Aaron Deck

In Pieces

Aaron Deck

Preston should have known this would be the end result, watching Sarah back away from the broken balcony railing twenty feet above him, as he bled out onto the bleached concrete. At a karaoke bar, the first night they met, she picked “Country Death Song” by the Violent Femmes. Who does that? Only a woman with his taste.

She could have been the one, but he never actually dated Sarah. They were college classmates, drinking buddies. Sarah could down a six pack faster than any guy he knew and her twisted sense of humor rivaled his own. But the romance never ignited. Preston nearly went in for a kiss once underneath the neon sign of a local pub, but even in his inebriated state he knew better and refrained. But looking up from the concrete at this very moment he realized she was more like him then he ever realized.

He wanted to smile ruefully, but that part of his face didn’t seem to be working any more. This was all supposed to look like a prank. I guess the joke’s on me. He tried to laugh, but the blood filling his lungs only allowed for a weak choking sound. He wondered if Hal had been in on it, too. Where was he, anyway?

Sarah looked down at the knife in her hand with a frown. Probably overkill. Literally. The thought almost made her giggle but she stifled her mirth—as much as she wanted to revel in the moment, there just wasn’t time. She resisted the urge to tiptoe back up to the edge and peer down at Preston. No time for morbid curiosity, however. For the rest of the plan to work—and it had to, now—she needed to move. That idiot Hal would pull up any minute. The smile creeping from her lips faltered momentarily. Probably best not to assume Hal’s acuity at this point. Assumptions about mental agility hadn’t done Preston any favors. Her smile returned, blooming now like a dark rose.

………………………………………………………..

She was wearing a floral patterned sundress, the brevity of which made Lou almost trip over the cord of the pulsing floor waxer he was navigating through the aisles of the deserted department store, a discount barn where the mannequins were more battered than thrown out furniture. Still, Lou harbored an affection for each one. Unlike the women on the streets in the sunlight, the girls inside the store never rebuffed him for his urge to peek underneath their skirts.

Night security had begun to lose their sense of humor about discovering awkwardly positioned store mannequins in varying states of disrobe while on their nightly patrol, and while they had never caught Lou with any of his current or former paramours, they were certainly keeping a closer eye on him.

Rose was his favorite; the one he fondly called “the ex” after the store had bought new mannequin parts to assemble into a form for the store’s front window. Despite Rose’s position at the back of the house, she was the one he checked on most often. But as Lou made his way over to the clearance aisle, something seemed off with his girl. Even with her advancing age, she could pull off nearly any clothing ensemble, but tonight she wasn’t her alluring self. She stuck out sideways from the sundress.

Lou flipped off the waxer and made his way over to the mannequin. He touched her face and then the neckline of her dress. When he bent down, he noticed the odd red stains on her spring skirts. When he lifted them, he unveiled the horror. Rose’s left leg was missing, replaced by a broken piece of balcony railing covered in blood.

He froze in mid-reveal. This wasn’t right. Not at all. Where there should have been a pale, pleasant curve, he found a straight, spattered length of varnished wood. He resisted the urge to touch it, to see if the minimal after hours light of the store was playing tricks with his aging eyes. But he didn’t have to touch it, he knew. He had seen enough blood to recognize that particular shade of dark brown was formerly a lively red. And from the look of it, it had been fresh not long ago.

He slowly allowed the floral pattern of the skirt to slip through his fingers and back in place. This was all wrong. He wasn’t the only person on the floor tonight. The thought careened into his mind and skidded to a stop. He glanced around, but noticed the night guard hadn’t gotten to this area of his route yet. The cameras weren’t trained on this section, but anyone who actually bothered to review them might notice that the guy supposed to be waxing the floors had disappeared from the frame for far too long. And Lou didn’t know how long he had been standing there.

Lou reclaimed his equipment, and resurrected it with the flip of a switch. He couldn’t stop glancing back at Rose, but he wouldn’t be able to investigate further until security was back on the ground floor.

What did they do to you, baby?

……………………………………………………………….

“Remind me again why I should give a shit about that trophy?” Sarah feigned a yawn, even though the prospect of the heist still excited her.

“Because it’s mine. Little late in the game for cold feet, sweetheart.” Preston gave Sarah an appraising look. Like him, he knew she couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. Almost game time.

Sarah’s eyes narrowed, and her smile compressed. “Keep calling me sweetheart and I’ll remind you how sour I can be.”

“Yeah, Trish told me what you taste like.” The smile disappeared completely now.

“Seriously you two, can’t we just relax for one night?” Hal jumped from the impact of the cold gazes now directed at him. He opened his mouth to say more, but his lips got stuck before the words came out. After a moment, Preston smiled again, the wide healthy smile of a football quarterback in a state where football was religion.

“You’re right, Hal.” Preston slapped Hal a little too heavily on the shoulder, causing him to tilt in his chair.

Sarah’s face softened again as she watched ungainly Hal try to right himself. Poor Hal. Things probably wouldn’t work out well for him after this. But that’s what you get for playing flunky.

“You are right, Hal. We won’t be doing this again anytime soon, so here here.” She raised her pint, the other two followed suit and clinked glasses in the small space between the trinity–Sarah eyeing Preston, Preston eyeing Hal, and Hal completely entranced by his beer.

Sarah drained her draught and slammed the empty glass down on the bartop. “Be right back.” She gave Preston one more size-up and turned toward the direction of the bathrooms.

“Have fun” Preston intoned suggestively, his smile turning crooked. Sarah’s middle finger trailed in response as she walked away. His eyes followed her for a bit, unable to stop from admiring the sway of her ass as she sauntered to the back of the bar. At this point, his feelings for her didn’t travel much past what a resigned ex might feel–but he still appreciated a well crafted body. Especially when accompanied by that middle finger attitude.

Preston had discovered that Sarah was as smart as he was years ago. And he finally decided that if he couldn’t have her, he’d use her for his own purposes. Just as sporty as he was intelligent and cocky, Preston was in line for the Heisman Trophy in football, but hapless Hal got in the way as usual. It wasn’t even a real game, not with that simpleton. The practice game led to a sporting nightmare with Preston being carted off to the hospital, his shin bone protruding from his flesh. That day ended his football career just shy of achieving the notoriety he was so eager to gain. And with Sarah knocking him out for Valedictorian, Preston was destined to stand in second place his entire senior year.

If he could just get Sarah to the 3rd floor of the University tower where the trophy sat, he could have his glory. The trophy– his trophy– was lost and given to a quarterback with not even half his potential. If he could lift it, then at least Preston would be victorious in outsmarting them all. But it would take a planned maneuver to rescue such a treasure from behind the glass walls. If anyone could pull it off with him, Sarah could.

Sarah let her proudest finger linger in the air for a good ten feet before finally holstering it and turning down the hallway to the bathrooms. She walked past them, and approached the store room door. Good, they still hadn’t fixed the lock. She resisted the urge to look back for traffic–there was always a chance of people coming out of a bar bathroom at this time of night, so close to a college–and instead decided to walk right in as if she had every right to.

Sarah didn’t like to be played by men. She could smell what they were up to before they had even finished formalizing their plans. Preston was no different. She thought at one point she could respect him, but his inability to stay on top, even in their senior year proved to her that he didn’t have the chops. The idea that some stupid trophy would make a difference after graduating, grated on her nerves. Sarah never compromised and she never let defeat stand between her and the next challenge. If Preston thought he could pull off a trophy heist, she’d help him, but she had to get some satisfaction out of it, too. Pulling Hal into the action would keep her from getting too arrogant, overconfident. Hal was bound to foul something up and this would ground her–and make for an excellent patsy. Besides, if she could pretend to help Preston steal his damn trophy, while ridding herself of his presence, she’d eclipse his fame and never be suspected.

She flicked the light switch on and looked down in the right corner. Jesus, Hal. He was supposed to hide the knife behind the cleaning supplies and instead it was resting right on top of them, in full view of anyone who came in the closet sized room. And it was ridiculous, some sort of large hunting knife that would be tough to conceal in a pocket. Fortunately, she planned on such an oversight and brought a purse big enough to accommodate. She grabbed it, only admiring its potential lethality for a moment, and buried it at the bottom of her purse.

After a quick stop in the ladies’ room–she did actually have to go–she made her way back to the bartop and her waiting co-conspirators. She knew there was a good chance that Hal would tell Preston about the knife. He might have even done so while she was retrieving it. But she also knew that Preston’s conceit and overestimation of his own intelligence would keep him from letting on that he knew. He would come up with a contingency plan. He would think he was still in control. And that would make it even easier for her to win.

“Everything go as planned?” Preston tried not to appear too smug. Hal had told him about the knife days ago, he didn’t know what she had planned for it, but he would be ready.

Sarah quickly gauged his demeanor, and decided that he probably knew. No matter. “Always does. Alright, shall we go over it one more time?” Preston looked a little irritated. Hal looked like he might cry. But they both agreed.

The plan was simple enough. Preston and Sarah would enter the University tower, the one showcasing the trophy, about an hour before it was officially locked down. They would get there shortly before the security guard shift change, with the idea that whoever was working the overnight shift wouldn’t see them enter the building. They’d hide in the bathrooms respective to their genders, and wait. While the building was routinely patrolled, what the guards did on their patrols was not so routine. Sometimes they checked the bathrooms, sometimes they didn’t. When they did, the men usually didn’t check the women’s bathroom. The women seemed to be less worried about invading the men’s. But either way, no consistency. They had watched for weeks, and at first the unpredictability of the patrol was seen as a potential deal-breaker–but Preston and Sarah egged each other on until they agreed it was a challenge that neither wanted to back down from. Hiding in separate bathrooms, on separate floors, seemed to give them the best chance of success–and lessened the chance they would have to use the heavy sedative syringes they would be carrying with them. They would both have backpacks, posing as students who had been using one of the two study lounges on the first floor. If they were caught together, they would pretend to be young lovers seeking a new venue for public affection. Separately, they would employ the sedatives.

While the building didn’t have anything as sophisticated as motion detectors, or even cameras, there were plenty of bodies with flashlights and pepper spray wandering around, and the numerous narrow hallways of the old building meant the routes to the trophy case had to be planned meticulously. Once they reached the case, Sarah would work her magic on the alarm, and Preston would make the switch. Sarah didn’t see any reason to leave something in place of the trophy, but Preston was insistent. He wanted the school to not just feel loss, but embarrassment. They batted around several ideas. Most of them were ridiculous, but in the end Hal had the best, and most transportable idea. A stuffed tiger, the mascot of the school’s closest rival. Not only would it satisfy Preston’s need to snub his alma mater, it might put the authorities on the wrong trail. A school prank, easily resolved.

Preston had to admit, the whole plan really wasn’t much more than a prank–on the surface. That trophy belonged to him, but it wasn’t like he’d be able to put it on display on a fireplace mantle. But Preston had bigger plans than the trophy now. The tiger would conceal a surprise. One that was going to finally put Sarah in her place.

…………………………………………………………

“Everything OK, Lou?” Lou spun and nearly tipped the waxer into a glass jewelry display.

“Oh, Hal, forgot you were on tonight.” Lou liked Hal. He had never given him any grief, and was always polite. And if he had heard the rumors about Lou’s suspected . . . habits, he didn’t let on or look down on him for it. “Yeah, yeah . . . just a little tired, I guess.”

He thought about telling Hal what he saw, about Rose’s “new” leg, but as nice as Hal was, he still wasn’t sure he could trust him. He didn’t really trust anyone after he got back from Iraq, and he hadn’t been given much of a reason to change his mind about that. Hal wasn’t all that bright either, and Lou wasn’t sure he had the right words to explain what he had seen earlier.

Hal inspected Lou and nodded his head, apparently satisfied with what he saw. “Alright Lou, well you take it easy man. I’m gonna finish my rounds, be in back if you need anything later.”

“OK, Hal, thanks.” Lou watched Hal amble away. Sweet guy. Was it normally his shift tonight? He couldn’t remember. But maybe he would take him up on his offer after he finished up. Maybe Hal would know what to do about Rose.

………………………………………………………….

Things couldn’t have gone more smoothly for Sarah and Preston. Not only did it seem that the security team was short-staffed that night, but the two that they knew took a page from their plan and had been seeking new venues of public affection themselves in one of the study lounges with the doors closed but the lights on. Preston wanted to linger at the small window to the lounge and satisfy an oddly timed voyeuristic impulse, but Sarah pulled him away and kept them focused. The route she planned took them the long way to the trophy room, and by the time they got there both were breathing heavily.

Preston leaned over, hands on his knees, and tried to take slow, deep lungfuls of air. He didn’t realize how out of shape he’d gotten since he stopped playing. “There it is.” He looked at Sarah and smiled triumphantly.

Sarah smiled back, hands on her hips and visibly less winded than Preston, but she wasn’t won over by his confidence. “We’re not done yet. Get ready.” She moved to the back wall where the alarm panel was and opened up her backpack. The alarm system was a simple one, and she didn’t need much more than a screwdriver and a pair of wire-cutters to bypass it–but bringing the other tools along made it easier to hide the knife at the bottom of the bag. She wasn’t even sure she would need it, the route she took them on had exhausted Preston even more than she had hoped–but she needed to have it ready. Especially since Preston was expecting it. This thought made her a little nervous about having her back to him, but until the alarm was deactivated, he would need her.

“The doors first.” Preston stood by the french doors opposite the trophy that led out onto a terrace where invite-only luncheons were held by the school’s board of directors. He held a length of knotted nylon rope, which would be tied off to the balcony railing and used for a quick exit. He knew she would have him go first. And that she would use the knife to cut the rope and send him plummeting to his death. But he had other ideas.

Sarah carefully removed the face plate from the old fashioned system and clipped the first wire. “Done.”

Preston gingerly tested the doors, and when no alarm sounded, swung them open and launched out onto the terrace to secure the rope. Sarah watched him for a moment and then turned back to the panel, pretending to busy herself with the contents of the bag. As she suspected, there was no alarm on the case. The blinking light they had noted on the top of the case was just for show. She removed the knife and tucked it into the back of her pants as she turned to face the open doors. He strolled back in, radiating self-satisfaction. Sarah didn’t know what his plan was to deal with her expected betrayal, but her senses spiked in awareness.

“We’re ready. The case?” Preston nodded at the trophy. They were going to be so surprised. So was Sarah.

“We’re set . . . I think. I haven’t seen anything like this before, not in the schematics I found. But we should be good.” Sarah fought hard to keep the slyness from her face.

Preston’s smile fell for the first time since they had reached the 3rd floor. “What do you mean you think?” He stopped himself and breathed heavily, trying to keep his voice from rising any further.

“Look, we knew this might happen, that’s why we planned the quick getaway. Get the stupid tiger, exchange it for your stupid trophy, and let’s get the hell out of here.” Sarah looked pointedly at her watch. “Hal should be pulling up any minute now.”

Preston stared at Sarah, calculating. He hadn’t thought for a second that Sarah wouldn’t be able to disarm the case. Still, she was right. Even if the alarm did go off, they would be gone far too quickly to be caught. Well… he would. He walked over to the trophy case, removing the tiger from the backpack as he went. Pinned to the tiger was an earring he lifted off of her a couple weeks before. He set the backpack on the ground, and held his breath as he began to slide the glass away from the right side of the case. No alarm. He exhaled heavily and made the swap, his triumphant grin returning as he closed the glass and admired the new, fuzzy, orange and black occupant of the University trophy case.

Preston turned toward Sarah. Almost time. “Alright, let’s get the . . . “ Alarms pierced the stillness of the late night.

Sarah did her best to feign surprise and yelled over the cacophony “. . . hell out of here!!”

They scrambled out the door, and as they neared the railing Preston started to turn to tell Sarah that she, in fact, would be going first, and not him. But when he tried to talk, the words seemed to catch on something. The knife in his gut. He looked at Sarah in disbelief, trying to grab at her but their momentum was carrying him toward the rail. His arms were caught between wanting to pinwheel for balance and latch onto his attacker. Sarah pushed him away quickly, before his meaty hands could find purchase, and watched him crash through the railing and out into the night. She had loosened the railing on a previous recon trip, but instead of falling with him it swung open and remained attached at one end. She absently noted the sound of Preston’s demise as he landed, and decided to pull the rest of the short section of railing off and bring it with, sliding the rope off of the end and letting it drop to join Preston. So long, sweetheart.

Hal was waiting for her in the lot just outside of the back entrance. While the security truck may have had the department store’s faded name on one side, from even a short distance in the dark it looked close enough to a campus security pick-up to be discounted, at least at first. The window of escape was small, but manageable. Whoever found Preston would certainly notice the stab wound, but their first guess at cause of death would be “long fall”, and they wouldn’t be looking for anyone else right off the bat.

“What’s with the railing?” Hal looked at Sarah as she jumped breathlessly into the truck.

“Souvenir. Drive.” She looked over at sweet, unaffected Hal, and for a brief moment felt a pang that the railing would be used to implicate him in Preston’s death. But only a moment. She had just come up with a very creative way to plant the evidence, and that, more than anything else that evening, made her smile openly. “Is everything ready at the store?”

“All set. You’ll have to wait in the maintenance room while I make sure the coast is clear, then you’re home free.” Hal joined her smile with his own.

………………………………………….

Lou wasn’t sure what he was looking at anymore. He had gone into the back to tell Hal about Rose, after another hour of waxing and thinking he just couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. But he didn’t seem to be around. He finally found himself in the maintenance room, where some of the spare mannequin parts were stored, thinking maybe while Hal was in the bathroom or whatever he was doing, he might find Rose’s real leg.

He found a real leg alright–but as he approached it, he slowly realized it wasn’t Rose’s. In fact, it might not even be a mannequin’s, at least not the cheap kind they use at this store. Lou stared for a long time before finally gathering the courage to reach out and touch it.

“That’s Sarah.” Lou wheeled around to face Hal startled for the second time that evening. “She’s new.”

© 2015 Aaron Deck

“Ghostbox” by Rich Meneghello

Ghostbox

Rich Meneghello

MONDAY

Have you ever thought about what’s going to happen to all those big box stores now that they’re all closing down? One day there’s a Circuit City in the Market Square Shopping Center and the next day it’s boarded up and empty. One day you shop at a Linens N Things at the Meadowbrook Crossing and one day you can’t anymore because it’s just an empty shell. The Borders at the edge of town is gone, too, and you used to love going there. But now it’s a vacant hole in the middle of an even-more-vacant parking lot. The companies that own them have a public name for these places: “dark stores.” Like they’re just temporarily dark, like the one night a week a Broadway show gives it a rest, as if soon they will be light again once everyone gets their act together. But inside the industry, out of the eyes of the public, we fixers call them something else: ghostboxes. Because they’re dead and empty and haunted, and even though I’m coming to town to flip a switch so one isn’t dark anymore, that light won’t last. Not really. Once they’re dead, they’re dead.

There aren’t many too many fixers like me out there. At least, not many good ones. It’s a tougher job than it looks, it requires just the right touch. See, what I do is figure out what should be done with the ghostbox once it’s dead. Sometimes I get hired by the city if it owns the property that’s gone to shit, but mostly I’m on retainer for the corporate giant that shut down the store but is still on the hook for the taxes. You can’t just knock down the building and start over, no way. Not anymore. The environmentalists will be all over your ass for creating waste and the big carbon footprint. Plus who’s going to pay to acquire that land and then build something else there? It would be like building a house over an Indian graveyard. No ma’am, there is no market demand for something like that, none whatsoever.

Instead, you gotta get creative. You have to breathe an afterlife into that 100,000 square foot monstrosity, figure out how best to reclaim that large single room, twice as big as a football field but with no windows and bad lighting, so that a few more dollars can be squeezed out of it. The lazy fixers take the easy path: they find some two-bit hustler who wants to open an indoor go-cart track. They work out a deal with a company that’ll make the ghostbox into a roller-skating rink in the summer, a Halloween haunted house in the fall, a ghetto ice-skating joint in the winter. They negotiate with a guy who’s going to cram a call center into a corner of the space and work the phones 24 hours a day. Not me. I’m an artist. That’s why I’m the best goddamn fixer alive and I have 17 jobs lined up after this one.

Usually I like to spend a whole week in town so I can get a feel for things, get a better sense of what will fit best in the ghostbox. That’s something most fixers don’t do. But even though I’m booked to be here through Friday, I really won’t need a full week for this job. I used to live here, before I went full-time on the road as a fixer four years ago. I know all about this place: where the kids hang out, what the old guys talk about at the diner, where the moms in yoga pants spend their afternoons, all that. In fact, I already have a pretty good idea of what I’m going to pull together to fill the old abandoned Bed Bath & Beyond in Crescent Hill Plaza. No, the only reason I’m going to spend five days in town is because Julia still lives here.

TUESDAY

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon and it’s just me and some guy from the city zoning commission standing in the empty parking lot outside the ghostbox. These guys like to do their business over the phone or, worse yet, at their crappy depressing government office. But I insist on making my meetings with them a site visit. Getting them out there standing next to the hulking, decrepit old store often does wonders to move the process along.

“I’m just not seeing it, Mr. Chambers,” he says, shaking his head with a tight little expression on his face. “I don’t see how your employer expects us to negotiate down the missed tax payments and allow you to just waltz right in here with some fly-by-night subtenant. I don’t see why we’d allow that sort of – ”

My phone rings, interrupting him. Normally I keep it on vibrate, that’s the professional thing to do. But today is different. I look to see who was calling, then look up at him while pointing at the phone and say, almost apologetically, “I gotta take this.”

“Well – ”

I don’t stick around to hear what he says. I answer the call while walking away a few steps.

“It’s certainly a surprise to hear from you, Jules,” smiling and smooth and calm as can be.

“Really? Cause you left me four messages this morning.”

“I wasn’t sure if your voicemail was working. I wanted to be sure you got my message.”

“Oh, I got your message,” she says with her sarcastic laugh, “and the next three messages too.”

God, it’s good to hear her voice again. I tell her so. “God, it’s good to hear your voice again. How long has it been? Like three or four years?”

She sighs. “What do you want, Patrick?”

This is going great. I’m surprised she called me back so quickly, and I’ve already kept her on the line longer than I thought I would. “Well, I just thought you would want to know that I’m back in town. I’m going to be here all week.”

“Oh my God, are you for real?” she says, but not in a happy sort of way. This isn’t going so great.

The zoning guy interrupts me, he had walked over to where I had wandered. “Mr. Chambers – I have a meeting at 2:30 so we really must –”

I scowl and turn my back on him and cover my free ear with my hand.

“Listen, Jules. I’d like to see you, really. It’s been too long,” and just like that I was talking into a dead phone because she had hung up on me somewhere around “I’d like to see you.” I wasn’t too worried, I had known it would take a little work. I realize I am smiling.
“Mr. Chambers, please. Unless you can convince me…”

I turn my attention back to him and listen to him for a few more minutes, letting him vent and get his point across. I nod a couple of times, too, showing him that I am listening and acknowledging what he is saying. Just as he’s gathering up some steam, I hold up my hand and start talking over him.

“OK, look. Here’s the deal. The city’s going to approve this. I know it, and you know it, so let’s stop bullshitting each other. For one thing, you’ve got so many vagrants and meth heads crawling through this shit heap that I’m surprised your car hasn’t been broken into in the five minutes we’ve been here. I know the other tenants around here are bitching about it and threatening to leave town unless you do something, so I know you want to fill this space like now. So here’s what’s going to happen. I’ll find a subtenant for this space by the end of the week and they’ll agree to pay 20% of what Bed Bath & Beyond was paying in monthly taxes.” He opens his mouth to talk. “Nuh-uh-uh – I’m not done,” I say, holding up my hand again with one finger extended like I was telling a kindergartner not to interrupt. “They’ll move in within two months and this disgusting blight will be gone and your other tenants will calm the hell down. You’ll be the big hero because you even brought in some new tax revenue. Meanwhile you’ll let us pay down the outstanding tax payments within three years at zero interest. You can issue a press release about how you reclamated this land and did it in an environmentally friendly way and all that horseshit and no one will complain about the taxes. The voters will love it.” He starts to say something else but I continue, just a little louder. “And if you don’t approve the deal, have fun explaining how all this fell apart. My people are in bed with the holding company that owns the Times-Courier, and they’ll start a 10-part series about how corrupt you are and how the rest of your zoning commission are incompetent fuckwits if I give them the word.”

I pull a business card out of my pocket and hold it out to him.

“I’m going to be here the rest of the week finding a subtenant that works for this space. Call me by Thursday to tell me we have a deal. My cell phone number is on here.” He doesn’t move, so I slide the card into his jacket pocket and pat it for good measure.

I always include my cell phone number on my business card. That’s the professional thing to do.

WEDNESDAY

Nothing much happened on Wednesday. Well, the zoning guy called me late in the morning. I let it go to voice mail and then listened to his message right after. Of course the city agreed to the deal. In order to save face a little he told me that they would need to approve the tenant that I found for the space to make sure it was consistent with the city code and appropriate in all respects and blah blah blah. That afternoon I started working to finalize the deal with the new tenant I’d lined up.

Oh, and Julia agreed to meet with me. That’s the big news from the day. (I’m trying to do that thing where you say, “It was your pretty average day, I just hit the lottery, that’s all” or “Things were pretty dull today, except for discovering life on Mars, you know.” I’m not really good at expressing my feelings, so I sometimes try to downplay the really good or really bad things.)

We’re going to meet up after work tomorrow night at the Valleyview Game Center. It’s set up where the old Woolworth discount department store used to be. It was the first ghostbox I converted here in town right before I took to the road. It’s now one of those places where adults can go to play around. You know, bowling in one area, video arcade in another, mini-golf over here, karaoke over there. Just like one of the kid fun centers, but with alcohol. I’ve scouted it out two straight nights and each night it’s been pretty crowded with the after-work happy hour crowd, pretty lively. It’ll be perfect.

How’d I get Julia to agree to meet with me? Consider that a trade secret. Let’s just say I’m a pretty persuasive guy when I need to be.

I will say this. I’ve found that the best way to sell is to do more listening than talking. Figure out your customer’s pain point and then explain to them that you are the person who can solve that particular problem. I’ve never understood this: how can you sell a pen to someone if you don’t know whether they even need a pen? No, it’s better to sit and listen and listen some more and then once you know what it is they need, you transform what you are selling into that very thing that’s going to solve their problem. So with Julia, I know she’s perpetually lonely. She just is, that’s her thing. She’s the kind of person who can be at a party and feel sad because she thinks she’s alone. I remember once we were on a romantic getaway weekend and strolling down the street at dusk after dinner, and she looked up at this building with apartments or condos or whatever. All of a sudden she just started crying. She told me that at first she thought the dozens of glowing lights in the windows of the building were beautiful, but then the more she thought about it, the more she started to feel sad because she imagined all the people in those apartments were doing things that she wasn’t doing. She felt left out, she said.

Another example: I’ve always been a pretty sound sleeper. Near the end, when things weren’t going so good, Julia and I would tend to fight with each other in the evening. That was our special “argument time.” She’d be all wound up from work and then the cooking and cleaning and whatnot, and I’d come home from working late, and then we’d fight. Anyway, I was always able to fall asleep just fine, but she had this thing where she couldn’t sleep after we fought but would just lay there in bed, wide awake most of the night. One morning I woke up and she looked awful; she hadn’t slept a wink. She told me that never in her life had she felt lonelier than she had that night, laying there next to me, waiting for me to wake up. That morning was the last time I’d seen her. I left town that afternoon.

Long story short, Julia’s a lonely person and I’m going to solve that problem for her tomorrow night. But I’ve probably said too much already. I didn’t get to be so good at my job by just giving away all my secrets.

THURSDAY

“I’ve convinced quite a few churches to take over ghostboxes. That always cracks me up.” I smile broadly to show how good-humored I am over the whole thing and Julia takes the bait.

“Are you serious? Churches?” she says with a laugh.

“Oh, yeah. You go down South or into the Midwest and they treat their religion in a lot more of a functional way than the rest of the country does.” I tick off the reasons with my fingers. “Those empty stores can fit a whole lot of people, they have a ton of parking, and because there’s no windows, it’s pretty easy to regulate the temperature. That’s really important when most of your customers are old people.”

“I don’t think they call them customers,” she says, sipping at her drink. “Congregants.”

“Right. Congregants,” I say, and then I laugh.

We’re in the biggest bar area of the Game Center, right near the stage where karaoke is being sung poorly but quite gamely by a group of office workers with a fairly large crowd around us. ‘Love Will Keep Us Together’ by Captain and Tennille.

We stop chatting for a minute and watch the performance. Jules turns to me and smiles. “Woof,” she says.

“I know, right?”

“You’d never catch me doing that,” she says, clearly wanting to do that. “So, you’re only in town through tomorrow, huh?”
“Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?” I say, good-naturedly.

“No,” she says, laughing, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s OK. Yeah, just through tomorrow. I have a flight to Reno at around noon.”

“Going to turn a Kmart into a synagogue?”

I can’t tell if she’s being critical or not, so I just let it slide and act like she’s being playful.

“Ha-ha. No, this time I’m working with a 75,000 square foot abandoned Ross Dress For Less. This will be an easy sell, though, I think, I should wrap it up in a day. I already have a commitment from a community college to convert the store into their new satellite campus.”

“Now you’re screwing with me.”

“No, swear to God! I’ve done a bunch of community colleges and trade schools and that sort of thing. Huge market out there for that, and no one wants to build anything new.” I tip back my beer and the song ends; there’s applause and cheering from the crowd. Julia joins in for a minute, turning towards them and giving a few whoops. I enjoy just looking over at her while she’s distracted. I missed looking at her.

She turns back to me and could probably tell I was looking at her. She just smiles and looks down. “Well, I’m glad everything is going well for you, Patrick. I really am.”

I’m about to say something back to her when the karaoke announcer yells into his microphone, “It’s 6:00 o’clock, and that means that our Challenge Hour is about to begin! If you get challenged to sing, you can’t refuse, or you’ll face public humiliation and the scorn of your peers. Are you ready!”

By the sound of the yelling and hollering, the crowd is quite clearly ready.

“Our first challenge victim is – oh, right, this is a special one. We received this request two nights ago from someone who wanted to make sure they were first tonight. OK, is Julia Pershing here?”

Julia’s head pivots towards mine and her eyes are enormous.

“No you didn’t,” she says.

“Yes I did,” I say. I raise my hand and yell over to the announcer, “Here she is!” The crowd cheers.

A few minutes later and she’s up on stage, looking pretend-terrified but happy to have the attention. She’s got a pretty good voice and she knows it. The announcer queues up the song: “Here it is, Julia! Your challenge song – ‘I Want You Back,’ by the Jackson 5!”

The bass line begins and the guitar intro starts and the crowd is yelling and Jules is laughing at having to sing in a young-Michael-Jackson-falsetto. But once she starts to sing the words, she realizes what I’m trying to say to her and she gives me a look. Just for a second, but it was definitely a look. For the rest of the song, though, she doesn’t look back at me at all.

***

We’re on the first hole of the mini-golf course, and she’s trying to knock her ball through a five-foot plastic white whale.

“So this is supposed to be Moby Dick,” I tell her. She looks up at me. “The guy who owns this place has an English Lit master’s degree from UCLA. Each golf hole is secretly supposed to represent some great work of literature.”

She’s trying to gauge whether I’m pulling her leg. “Shut up.”

I hold up my hands defensively to show I’m telling the truth and explain: “English Lit degrees aren’t really worth a whole lot these days. You gotta do what you gotta do. And this guy is cleaning up with this place, trust me.”

She shrugs and lines up her putt. “Call me Ishmael, bitch,” she says as she knocks the ball towards the whale’s mouth.

***

We’re on the third hole, trying to navigate an area marked by undulating hills and crests (“Valley of the Ashes,” I explain. “Gatsby”), when Julia asks me about my job. “Do you like it?” she asks.

I stop my swing and look up at her. “Do I like it.” A long pause. “Well, I’m good at it.”

“That’s not the same thing,” she says.

I decide how to answer her question. “Want to hear my personal favorite conversion I pulled off? I single-handedly put together the deal that saw an old ghostbox that used to be a Kmart in Austin, Minnesota turned into the national Spam Museum. Seriously – look it up if you don’t believe me!” She’s laughing now, and I’m on a roll. “This godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere, 15 miles north of Iowa and 100 miles from anything worth a damn, is now the home of a 67,000 square foot monument dedicated to a canned meat product. Hundreds and hundreds of people visit that each day. That deal alone would get me into my industry Hall of Fame if there was one.”

She’s laughing still, but she asks anyway, “Right, but do you like it?”

I heave a sigh. “You know what I like? I like seeing the results of what I do.” I spread my arms out wide and point around the Game Center with my golf club. “Like this. I like looking around and seeing what these things can become. I don’t know, I guess I think everything deserves a second chance.”

She ignores that one and turns around and putts her ball away.

***

The sixth hole looks just like your classic mini-golf windmill.

“Don Quixote,” she says.

“Bingo.”

After we finish the hole, I say to her, “You know, it’s still sort of a secret but I can tell you now. I finalized a deal today to turn the old Bed Bath & Beyond in Crescent Hill Plaza. By October, it’s going to be the first indoor dog play park in the city. People can take their dogs there and let them run around with other dogs out of the rain and snow, and there will be a day care area, too.”

She nods and says, “Hm. That sounds good.” Nothing more.

I’m a little surprised at her reaction. For the first time all night, I’m thrown off a bit. “Y-yeah. It will be good. Real good. You can take Lucy there, she’ll love it. I know you always hate to walk her in the rain.”

“Lucy’s dead, Patrick.”

“Oh. Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, Julia.”

“She died two years ago. She was an old dog.”

I’m an idiot. “Really, I am so sorry.”

She just nods a few times. “Yeah, well. She died. I have a new dog now. Max. I got him as a puppy last year.”

“Oh. Well, there you go! You can take Max. I think they’re gonna call it ‘Dog Town’ or something like that. You’ll love it.”

“Yeah. It sounds great.”

***

The eleventh hole is a tribute to Romeo and Juliet. You have to walk up a short flight of stairs to a fake balcony, built cheaply like on the set of a play, and then knock the ball down a spiral ramp until it spills out onto the green.

Julia’s up on the balcony and knocks the ball down while I remain down on the ground. She looks down over the balcony rail to see where the ball spits out, and after seeing it carom off the wall and within inches of the hole, she takes a dramatic bow.

I slow-clap a few times and she raises her head.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!” I call up to her.

“Wrong story, buddy. You’re mixing your literary metaphors.”

“Really?” I say. “I thought that was part of the same story.”

She looks down at me over the balcony rail with mock sternness. “You have an annoying habit of making me wonder whether or not you’re serious just about every time you say something.”

“Hey, Jules. I want to move back to town. I want to be with you again.”

The playful smile on her face melts into something that is technically still a smile, but not really. “See?” she says. “Like that.” She shakes her head slowly. “Patrick. Oh, Patrick. We were having such a good time tonight.”

“I know. I know! And that’s the way it could be again. Don’t you want to have fun like this again?”

“You really think a night playing mini-golf is real? Look at this place! I’m standing on a goddamn Shakespearean balcony. This isn’t reality. There’s no bedroom back here, you know.”

A mother and father and their two young kids are at the beginning of the hole now, waiting their turn to begin. “Umm – are you guys almost done?” the father asks.

“Give us a minute,” I say. I turn back up to Julia. “No, look, I know this isn’t real, but that’s not what I mean. I mean us, together. Isn’t this good? Don’t you want this again?”

Now she looks angry and her voice is raised a little bit and things are getting a little awkward. “YOU LEFT ME, PATRICK. You just picked up and left and you were gone and I was left with nothing. NOTHING. Did you really think I was just going to sit around and wait for you to come back into my life? Did you think I just put everything on hold waiting for you?”

“Jules, I’m sorry. Really. Come down, we’ll talk about it.”

“No. I don’t want to come down.”

“Julia, honey, this nice family wants to play this hole and they can’t until you come down.”

“Well they can PLAY. THROUGH.” she says loudly.

I look over at the family and smile. “You can just play through.”

The father says thanks quietly and they line up to play.

I look back up at her. “Julia, I’m different now. I figured out what I want. I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want to be here with you.”

“You are unbelievable.”

One of the kids putts his ball and it hits me in the foot. “Sorry there, champ,” I say. I tap it with my club towards the hole. “There you go.”

I look back up at the balcony. “Julia, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Now she looks pissed. “You think you can say that and then I’ll let you fuck me tonight, is that it?”

The mother and father look over at me. I half-shrug and try to laugh, pointing up at the balcony rail. “Heh. Romeo and Juliet, you know?”

They pick up their balls and grab their kids by the shoulders and hustle off onto the next hole, leaving me and Julia alone once again.

“Jules, please, come down.”

“I’ve figured it out. I know why you’re so good at your job. Because you’re a – what did you call it? A ghost town?”

“Ghostbox,” I correct her.

“Ghostbox!” she yells. “A ghostbox. You’re a ghostbox, Patrick. You came into my life with such promise and you were wonderful and you said you’d be different and you said you’d be there. I started to rely on you! I got used to you being there. You were a regular part of my life, and even though you had problems, that was OK, because we all have problems. I have problems. I was so upset when the Barnes and Noble closed down. I really like books and it sucks to have to look at everything online. I had to change my whole life when they left! Barnes and Noble wasn’t perfect and they had a crappy mystery section but I still liked going there. And then one day, just like that, you were gone!”

“I know. I know.”

“You were gone. You were gone! Just an empty space. And I was left having to figure out a new way of doing things without you.” She’s crying now. Her voice had gotten quiet.

“Julia, I am – so – sorry. I messed up, and I hurt you. I know that. But I want a second chance. I – I’ve changed. Look, you know what I do? Transforming things? I can do that, too. Me. I can be better.”

“Patrick.”

“No, really! If I’m a ghostbox, if that’s what you think I am? Well, I can change. I’m the best at it! Really!”

She has her head down now, resting on the balcony rail.

“Jules, look at this place! It’s great now, isn’t it? It’s like me! It’s all different. It’s better. It can be better, I promise.”

“It’s not real,” she says softly, head still down.

“What?”

She picks up her head and looks at me. She’s not crying anymore. “I said it’s not real. This won’t be here one day. It’s all just temporary.”

“I’ll be here. I promise.”

“You’re leaving tomorrow. You’re going to Reno.”

“Not if you say so. Not if you say you want me to stay.”

“Just leave, Patrick.”

“You mean, leave as in tonight leave? Or tomorrow leave.”

“Please. Just leave.”

“Jules, listen. OK. I’ll leave now. I will. I’ll let you come down from there whenever you want. But if you want me to stay for good, just call me tomorrow before noon.”

She doesn’t respond. She’s looking at me but she looks numb.

“Just call me before noon, that’s when my flight boards. If you call me before then, I’ll quit my job, I’ll stay and move back to town. We’ll take it slow, we’ll figure it out together.”

“Goodbye, Patrick.”

“You have my number, Julia. Please call.”

FRIDAY

I’m sitting at the gate and it’s five minutes before my flight is supposed to board. I have my phone in my hand and I look down at it every few seconds to make sure it’s on and still working.

Dealing with ghostboxes is tricky business. You can’t really recapture the magic, not really. Things will never be the same there. You can’t take a blown-out retail store and turn it into another new retail store. That won’t work, the customers won’t like it. Like you can’t take a JC Penney and turn it into one of those buy-it-for-a-dollar stores. The customers will be walking around looking at shadows and expecting things to be the same as the previous store, and they won’t be. They won’t be the same and people will get angry. Instead, if you want it to work, you have to transform it completely. Listen, you might not believe me, but you have to trust me. I’m the best goddamn fixer alive.

I look down at my phone.

~~

© 2015 Rich Meneghello