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Mini Sledgehammer: November 2011, St. Johns Booksellers

This month, we featured Leanne and Andy Baldwin, winners of the 2011 Sledgehammer Team category, as they read their story, “No Apocalypse in the Rose City.” Well done!

The prompts for the subsequent writing contest were a lot of fun:

Prompts:
action: getting a tattoo
setting: in the kitchen of an ethnic restaurant
prop: an old, dirty shoelace

Leanne stole the spotlight when the shoelace showed up in…well, you’ll have to read the story to find out. Congrats on another win, Leanne!

***

I, Moon

by Leanne D. Baldwin

***

“We have to talk,” Cynthia said as she burst into the kitchen. The aromas of oregano, basil, and garlic swirled in the steamy air.
“Oh, I’m glad you’re here,” Cosmo said, stirring a steaming pot. “A full moon or an eye?”

Cynthia frowned as the cook stared at her expectantly. “What do you mean, a full moon or an eye? What could you possibly be talking about?”

Cosmo addressed her as though talking to a particularly dim-witted child. “Which one do you think I should get?” When Cynthia turned up her hands in frustrated confusion, he clarified, “My tattoo. Should I get a full moon or an eye?”

“That’s stupid! Who gets a tattoo of the letter ‘I’?”

Rolling his eyes, Cosmo snorted. “No! I mean, like an eyeball. You know, staring mysteriously.”

Cynthia sighed. “Why do you ask me shit like this? I hate tattoos, I hate giving advice, and I’m not even all that fond of you.”

She realized that she should have cut off the spoken list at the second item and merely thought the third. Her father always said that this was one of her flaws where people-skills were concerned. It was why he was reluctant to retire and let her take over the restaurant. “Delvecchio’s has always been a place where we treat each other like family.”

Cynthia thought that quite a few families spoke to each other the way she tended to speak, but she kept that to herself. In this economy, she needed to do whatever it took to convince Dad she could run this place.

She started over. “Look, I came in to tell you that—”

“No,” Cosmo said, lifting a lid and tasting something.

“No what?”

“No. You don’t get to shut me down, belittle my concerns, and expect me to listen to yours.”

“This is a business, Cosmo. I’m managing the business, and I need to—”

“Your needs. Your needs! What about what I need?”

“You don’t need my advice on a tattoo choice,” Cynthia said.

“Your dad would help me,” Cosmo told her.

“Fine,” Cynthia said. “The eye. Get the eye.”

“You sure? ‘Cause I was kinda leanin’ toward the full moon.”

“Then get that. A full moon it is. Listen, I just came to tell you that a customer…” She frowned. “Wait. Isn’t a full moon just a circle?”

“Well, duh,” Cosmo said, lifting a pot of pasta from the stove and draining it. “The moon is round.”

“Yeah, but…” She shook her head. “Whatever. Great choice. Anyway, a customer just told me she found a dirty shoelace in her linguine.”

“Yeah?” Cosmo waited, as thought there should be more to the story.

“Yeah. So I need you to make up a new meal for her, dump out all the linguine, and make more. This time, hold the shoestring.”

“Hold it? Like, in my hand?” Cosmo seemed perplexed.

Taking a deep breath, Cynthia put her hand to her forehead. “Yes, Cosmo. Hold it in your hand, drop it into the trash, wash your hands, and make a new batch of linguine.”

Cosmo started taking notes on the scarred message board on the wall by the kitchen phone. “Hand… trash… wash…”

“And you know,” Cynthia said loudly, “definitely get the full moon. It suits you. You know why? Because it will look like a zero. A big, fat, zero!”

Storming out of the kitchen, Cynthia pondered her future. At this rate, she’d never be getting the restaurant. Maybe she should just finish that degree in social work.

© 2011 Leanne D. Baldwin

***

Leanne D. Baldwin is a freelance journalist, blogger, and novelist based in Portland, Oregon. She has written everything from fiction, humorous verse, and news features to screenplays, political commentary, and television ad copy – not in that order, and not all at the same time.

She and her son, Andy Baldwin, won the team category of the 2011 Sledgehammer 36-Hour Writing contest. She also recently placed seventh in the finals of NYC Midnight’s 8th Annual Screenwriter’s Challenge 2011, which isn’t bad considering she was learning how to write screenplays as she went along.

Leanne’s currently working on her first novel. Her fiction is mostly contemporary fantasy, because there’s no use pretending that her mind works like a normal person’s.

Mini Sledgehammer: November 2011, Blackbird Wine

The days have turned blustery, and the beautiful leaves have begun to fall, but that didn’t keep writers away this month. We started the evening off with a reading by Dora Raymaker, 2011 Sledgehammer winner of the Individual category. Then we announced the prompts and had at it!

Prompts:
character: someone with a quirky phobia
Action: affixing reflectors
Setting: next to a broken-down car
Phrase: I’m torn

The prizes went to Elissa Nelson for the following story, though she graciously shared her entry to that Saturday’s workshops at Indigo with another player. Such generosity!

***

Untitled

by Elissa Nelson

***

“Eating foods out of cans is dangerous,” the woman tells him. “I see you’ve got your cans there. Six of them. That’s not good.”

“I’ve got my beans, my fruits, three kinds of veggies, and that potted meat I love so much. No carbs—it’s a well balanced meal, isn’t it?”

“Fruit cocktail?”

“I like the fruit cocktail the best. You get em all, you don’t have to pick. Maraschino cherries too. Good stuff.”

“That dye—it’s toxic.”

“Toxic. You drive that car around. That’s toxic.”

“True, true.”

“Course I’d drive a car too, I’m not too good for that, only mine’s broken down. There it is right there.” He points. “So I can still sleep in it, but she doesn’t really go places these days. Unless you push her. I’m not much for that. I just leave her be.”

“I see you have reflectors on her.”

“That was Pearl did that. She scavenges all that kind of stuff, came over one day for dinner—black beans, peaches in heavy syrup, creamed corn, these fancy red peppers, and those little onions? And I had some Spam, but she didn’t want any. So she came over for dinner and brought the reflectors along. Susie—that’s the car—Susie had just broken down and a couple guys helped me haul her off to the side there, but Pearl said it’d be better if people could see her, if she reflected light when people drove by. So now she does.”

They’re quiet for a moment. The guy eats, the woman stands there, not sure what she’s doing. At least that’s what it looks like to the guy. He finally asks her: “What’re you thinking?”

“I’m torn,” she says.

That’s all she says. He waits for her to say more but she doesn’t.

“Torn about what?” he asks finally. He doesn’t really care—if she’s not going to eat, he’d just as soon that she gets out of there and lets him eat. Eat and have his evening. Sit by the fire, smoke his pipe. It’s old-fashioned, but he still doesn’t like to smoke around a lady. And she’s a lady. At first he thought she was one of those social worker types, or just a do-gooder—she’s got the nice clothes on, her hair done, no clipboard but she might’ve left it in her car, a late model Mercedes, not one of the real fancy ones but it’s still a Mercedes.

“I guess I might as well just tell you,” she says finally, about ten minutes later. Maybe not really ten minutes, but it’s a while.

“Tell me what?” he says, when she doesn’t tell him.

“It’s about Ed.”

“I don’t care anything about Ed. What do you know about Ed? What’s he got to do with you?”

“I’m his—he’s my brother-in-law.”

“He married your sister? Must be, because you couldn’t’ve married his brother. He hasn’t got one, far as I know. If he did, he’d be lots younger, because he never did as long as I knew Sally Jane.”

“He married my sister. Married Lydia three years ago.”

“Three years? Has it been that long?”

“Says he hasn’t seen you in ten years.”

“Nah, he’s lying about that. Ten years. Last time I saw him was—shit, ninety-eight, it must’ve been, and what’s this, twenty eleven. Okay. That’s fourteen years. God damn. Pardon my language.”

He’s really on his best behavior.

He’s not what she was expecting at all, either. Okay, he lives in his car and he eats out of cans he cooks on an open fire. But he’s so nice to her.

“What did Ed tell you about me?”

She shrugs.

“Told ya I was a crotchety old asshole, didn’t he?”

She shrugs again.

“I am. There’s other bits to me, but I am a crotchety old asshole. I was a hell of a dad to him, that’s for sure. How’s Sally Jane?”

She shrugs again. She sure isn’t about to tell this guy what she thinks of Sally Jane, who now regularly comes to all family gatherings, not having any family except Ed.

“How’s your sister since she married him? Changed much?”

She wasn’t expecting that question either. What was she expecting? She thought either she wouldn’t find him here, or he’d be here and drunk, maybe passed out. He might be drunk now, but he’s coherent. Cogent, even. A decent guy. She likes Ed, she’s liked his stories about his drunk of a dad. Is that wrong to say she’s liked them? She has. He wants you to like his stories. And there’s a lot of affection in the way he talks about his dad.

He hasn’t sneezed yet, though. The way Ed tells it, his dad is all about the sneezes. That must be why he hasn’t chased her away yet, though—she doesn’t make him sneeze. That was a sad story Ed told about his dad. “I went to visit him once, this was a while back, and showed up with a bag of food for him. Cans mostly. I know what he likes. He took it. And we were sitting by his fire. Then he starts sneezing. And he says, ‘Sorry, son, got these allergies. Allergic to people. Different amounts of being allergic—I can put up with about as much of Pearl as I ever could, and the sneezing’s just a good excuse to get her out of here—but man, went to the grocery store last week, waiting in line to cash in my cans, and the lady behind me was wearing some kind of hippie perfume, I started sneezing so hard I had to get out of there and go back the next day.’” She remembers that she and Ed and Lydia sat around for a while guessing what the “hippie perfume” was. Sandlewood? Patchouli? One of those oil blends you buy at the co-op that’s called, like, “Peaceful Mist”? But she also remembers Ed saying that was the last time he saw his dad. They had a good conversation for a while, then he started sneezing “all hard and dramatic,” Ed said, “and I just never went back. Only so much of that a guy can take. Bad enough he was a drunk and a bum but allergic to me? Fuck it.” And Ed didn’t talk that way.

“Guess I’m not allergic to you,” he says to her.

She tries to look like she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“Ed told you anything about me, he must’ve told you I’m allergic to people.”

She’s still sort of trying to look like she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but she also knows it’s no good. She shrugs and nods, like maybe Ed’s mentioned it, but he hasn’t said much, hasn’t told the whole story. Which he hasn’t. He doesn’t know the whole story. Doesn’t know the past thirteen years worth.

It’s like he can read her mind. “It’s just gotten worse and worse since Ed stopped coming around. Gotten so mostly Pearl’s the only one I can be around at all. Gotta be careful going to the store… bought one of those masks to cover my nose and mouth, it was just getting to where I kept having to run away in the middle of an errand or whatever.”

She’s still standing there.

“Want to sit down?” he offers. “We could make some coffee—or you want some hot cocoa? I got some of that mix in the trunk, it’s the really good kind. Don’t got milk, though it’d probably keep, it’s cold enough.”

“Tea?” she asks.

“Only kind I like is peppermint,” he says, a little sheepishly. “But yeah, you want peppermint?”

“Perfect,” she says, and it is.

So she sits down next to the fire with him.

© 2011 Elissa Nelson

***

Elissa Nelson lives in Portland, Oregon. She teaches high school English, which she loves, and is currently finishing a novel (which she also loves, but she’ll be glad to be done with it). She has recently produced two issues of a very small zine: The Hundred Most Influential Writers in My Life to Date, As Best I Can Remember and Mostly Not Including Zines.

Flash Sledgehammer 36-Hour Writing Contest: Wordstock Edition

Congratulations, Deena Anreise, winner of Ink-Filled Page anthologies and $10 off entry to next year’s main Sledgehammer event, the 36-hour contest!

Incorporating the prompt roots, Deena wrote this piece of flash fiction:

We clung to familiarity, to the place of our birth, as our father dug us out dandelion-style, using his multi-syllabic wanderlust like a sharp spade or spud bar. Eventually, he would win us out.

Deena Anreise is a prolific writer, young mother, and publishing graduate student at Portland State University. She writes young adult genre fiction (urban fantasy), adult and middle-grade contemporary lit fiction, and creative nonfiction for Oregon Music News. Deena lives in the stunning cultural mecca that is Portland, Oregon where her two wildly “entertaining” sons make sure that she is never ever bored.

20-Pounder Sponsors

Thanks so much to our 2011 20-Pounder sponsors, who have each donated $500 or more worth of prizes!

Mini Sledgehammer: August 2011, Blackbird Wine

We sat outside Tuesday for a lovely evening of wine, cheese, and frenzied writing. While all the stories were quite strong, one stood out for all of the judges. We’re happy to announced Courtney Sherwood as the August 2011 Mini Sledgehammer (Blackbird Wine edition) champion!

Prompts:
Character: Landlord
Action: Haggling
Setting: The set for a TV show
Phrase: “I just came over here to…”

***

Reality

by Courtney Sherwood

It’s not like I didn’t know anything about the world when I ran away. Some of the kids in my homeschool group had televisions, and they’d whisper inscrutable tales about the world of sin when mama left us alone doing exercises as she changed a diaper or kneaded bread. When I was very young she even used to take me in to town on her supply runs. I saw billboards and the shockingly immodest attire of the modern world. Plus, mama and papa even talked about it, to warn us off, to explain why we lived this strange, sequestered life. Not that it felt sequestered. It was all I knew, and I was loved and nurtured and encouraged, as they raised me up  to become a godly woman, a mother, a helpmeet and a wife.

And it’s not even like I was all that sheltered. The Bible’s full of sin, and so are the lives of those who call themselves godly. Mama and papa were kind, but some of the kids from our worship meetings came from stricter homes. No “spare the rod for them.” And after my best friend, Rebekkah, joined in holy matrimony to the godly man who’d courted her I heard of other horrors. Pain and cruelty that we didn’t know the words for, and no way to escape. Marriage was forever, an eternal binding of two immortal souls.

Since I struck out on my own I’ve met other girls and women who fled my sheltered, narrow world. Most were like Rebekkah – shattered creatures, nearly broken by expectations that they could no longer bear. But I was happy. It was the fear – fear of eternity with palm-shaped bruises, fear of a soul bound to a man I couldn’t love. And yes, fear, that the sin in my heart was greater than mama, papa, maybe even God could ever forgive. Though as I thought that I cursed myself, because God could forgive everything. He was perfect. That I could think overwise was proof of my imperfection.

So at 18, after papa headed off to work and mama left for her fortnightly shopping trip, I put my eldest younger sister in charge of the family brood, gathered my favorite calico dresses in a bundle, sneaked sinfully into mama’s spare cash jar and stole half of everything she’d left behind, and struck out east, hoping to have at least a few years of joy before the sin of it all devoured my soul.

I was book smart, I’ll credit the homeschooling for that. I could read and write, do my sums, and quote the Bible on command. But I didn’t know a thing about money or phones or work or the modern world. I slept outside the first night, and on the second day wandered into a town where I saw a “room for rent” sign on a telephone pole.

Took about 30 seconds of haggling with my first potential landlord to learn the $80 I’d stolen from mama was not gonna get me very far. That was three days ago.

The landlord was a woman, a lady with a day job and tall shoes and short hair, and a fast, important-sounding way of talking. A sinner for sure. Well, we’re all sinners, I guess. But she was doubly sinful, to watch her move and listen to her talk, and not a bit contrite. So it surprised me when it turned out she was also a little bit kind.

“You really don’t know anything about the world, do you?” she asked, the same look of wonder on her face as the younguns would get upon discovering yesterday’s tadpole had grown legs over night.

“Look, you can stay in the room, no charge, until I find a paying renter or you find a job. Could be a day, could be a week, could be a month. But if I find someone who can afford my rent brfore you can do it, you’re gone. And no pets, no smoking, no late-night parties, either.” She smiled at that. “Somehow, I think the job part’s really the only thing I need to worry about. You got any skills?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Skills? Though I can bake and wash and corral a hord of children, plus think for myself a little even, I’d never thought of any of that in terms of skills, and so I hesitated.

“Great,” she said. “No skills. That’ll get you far. Well, follow me. I’ll show you to your room, at least for tonight.”

The room had a big bed, a clost, and even a television set. I’d seem them before, like I said, at homeschool friends’ homes, but I’d never turned one on, and that first day and night I was afraid to even touch it.

Day two, I walked downtown from my temporary home and went door to door in search of work. I never walked so much or saw so many strange things in all my life. Girls and boys holding hands. Men and women with skin all different colors. So much diversity, but one thing was the same everywhere I looked: No jobs.

My feet were blistered by the time I staggered back to the landlady’s spare room, and I only had $70 left, having spent $10 on food to get me through the day.

“I got a call about the room,” she said, as I came in. “I’ll be showing it off tomorrow.”

“I understand,” I said, biting back my fear. I was afraid of the future, but it was strange, because I’d been afraid of the future for months before I’d run away and this was a different kind of fear. There was an excitement hidden in it, and a stubbornness. I was not going back.

I fell sleep instantly when I got to my room, and when I woke everything was dark, there were crickets chirping, and suddenly I didn’t feel afraid anymore. I felt ready for the world – even for television – and I decided it was time to learn more about the sin of every day.

After a few minutes I figured out how to turn the television on, and that’s when I saw the ad for this show: “Seeking young men and women, age 18 to 28, for a new kind of reality TV.”

I got on the bus to California the next day.

I just came here to say, I don’t know much about reality, but I’m ready to learn and I need a job. I hope you’ll consider me for your television show.

© Courtney Sherwood

***

Courtney Sherwood is editor of the features and business sections of The Columbian newspaper in Vancouver, Wash., and a repeat volunteer at the Wordstock book festival. She lives in Portland with her husband, jazz musician Ben Lincon, and their two cats. She loves to eat, drink, hike, sleep, read, write and dream.