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Mini Sledgehammer April 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Thanks for your patience as we transition from Elissa Nelson facilitating Mini Sledgehammer to Kristin Thiel returning to the role! Thanks so much, Elissa. Salud, cheers, to you! And congratulations to this month’s winner, Pam Russell Bejerano, who successfully incorporated the following four prompts into what the judge deemed the most successful story of the evening.

Location:  Beach

Prop:  Song

Character: Rich lady

Action:  Fart

***

 

FORGETTING

I sat on the beach, absolutely engrossed in my book. It was one of those perfect days, rare for the north Oregon coast. The sun was out, the breeze was only mildly distracting, and the number of annoying tourists was minimal. I flipped quickly to the back page, counted the 39 pages left, and continued reading. It wasn’t until I finished the last sentence, re-read the last paragraph two more times, and slammed the book shut that I realized I was no longer alone.

A woman, at some point, had sat down next to me, her giant beach towel spread carefully on the sand and her equally giant beach bag flopped over by her side. She wore a loose fitting beach dress that had more colors on it than a 64-count Crayola box. Her thick grey hair was the only thing about her that was neat and tightly pulled back into a ponytail at the base of her neck. Her hat, as wide as her beach towel, rested crooked on her face, half covering her eyes. I wondered that she could see anything, but quickly diverted my attention from her when I realized she was looking at me. The last thing I wanted was to be distracted by this woman, to destroy my beautiful solitude. I buried my face in my bag, desperate to find the other book I had brought with me. I dug and dug, but found nothing. My headphones were a second alternative, and one that would at least give me an excuse to not answer, but I couldn’t find those either.

“Damn it,” I said, slamming my bag shut.

“Sorry?” she said, jumping at any opening to talk to me.

The euphoria of my wonderful finished book evaporated with the mist floating up off the waves. I was ticked because the last beautiful thought I’d had with that last sentence was gone, now replaced by a woman who chose to sit five feet from me on a beach that started in Washington and ended in California.

“Nothing,” I said, and wondered whether I should just get up and head back to my car. But damn it, this was my one day, my last day of vacation, and the only dang day I was taking for myself. I decided to chance it and leaned back in my camper chair and let my eyes float out across the waves.

“I am a rich lady,” she said, leaning in to be sure I heard her.

I did the airplane leave me alone half smile, quick glance out of the corner of my eye and slight nod reply, in spite of the fact that her comment had me slightly curious.

“You know that song?”

“No,” I said, before I could stop the word from escaping my lips.

She began to sing, humming the notes and lifting and dropping her chin with each note.  The tune was completely unrecognizable to me, but I began to watch her in spite of myself.

“Wait,” she said, holding a hand in the air and pausing. “I got that last verse wrong.”

She started again, smiling and nodding, as if now it was right, though it sounded as random as the first. Suddenly, she stopped.

“Do you know the next verse?” she asked.

She hadn’t uttered an actual word, so I didn’t know how to answer so I simply shook my head.

“Sure you do,” she said, “it goes like this.” She hummed a few more notes, lifting and dropping her shoulders this time along with her chin. “Your turn.” Again, I politely refused.

Her eyes narrowed at me, and her face instantly grew sad. I felt my heart sink with the corners of her mouth.

“But you’re so young. How could you not know the song?”

Again, I had no idea what she meant, so I said nothing.

“Try,” she said, standing and sliding her towel within inches of my chair. When she sat, a loud fart escaped and reverberated on her towel. Her eyes grew wide, then her mouth opened and she threw her head back and laughed. It was one of those beautiful, full laughs that moves even the bottom of your feet. Falling under her spell, I found myself laughing along with her. When she opened her eyes and saw that I was laughing too, she laughed harder.

“I did that once in the middle of class, during our AP exam.” She laughed more, taking several deep breaths before she continued. “The proctors tried not to laugh, but they did. Then so did the two students next to me. Then, you know what?” She raised her hand in the air and landed it on my forearm, leaning in to me as we both giggled even harder. “Then the whole class started to laugh.” It took us several minutes to stop laughing and breathe enough to be able to talk.

“That’s a great story,” I said.

“You know the best part?” She turned and looked at me, her intense blue eyes finding a place in my mind and holding me there. A beautiful smile spread ear to ear, revealing yellowed, tin-filled teeth. “We all passed!”

“Sing with me,” she said, and again started humming along.

Giving in to the forgetting of my second book and my headphones, I began to hum along. This only encouraged her, and her song grew louder, encouraging me even more. Soon the two of us were lifting and dropping our shoulders, leaning in to each other, swinging back and forth on our hips, and singing out at the top of our lungs. I couldn’t remember the last time I had had this much fun.

“Nena!”

A distant voice called out, and my new friend disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared. Her face was stone and expressionless as her eyes scanned the beach then stopped. I followed her gaze and saw a young man and woman walking quickly towards us.

Before they reached us, she leaned in to me, putting her mouth next to my ear. “Don’t let them stop your song, my beautiful one,” she whispered, “ever. Promise?”

I turned and looked at her, but her eyes had not left the man and women. “Promise?” she said again, this time with more emphasis.

I took her hand in mine and turned her head so her eyes refocused on me. “I promise.”

Briefly, a smile reappeared on her face.

“Nena!” the man said. To me he said, “I’m so sorry,” then turned back to her before I could reply. “Nena, you know you are not supposed to leave the home. How did you get out this time, huh? They said you were locked in your room and couldn’t get out.”

“She was no problem, really,” I tried to interject, but my voice was drown out by their ridiculing of her. When I realized they had packed her towel and were about to shuffle her away from me I stood and yelled.

“Hey!” It worked. All three stopped and turned to look at me. I had no idea what to say next, and stood awkwardly for several moments. “We…we weren’t done with our song,” I finally stuttered.

Nena smiled. “I am a rich woman,” she said. “Do you know that song?”

I looked from the man to the woman, who were both obviously annoyed by their pursed lips and one-eyed raised brow.

I looked back to Nena. “Don’t you mean ‘I am a rich lady’?” I asked.

Her face went blank.

“She has Alzheimer’s,” the woman said. “She’ll forget you before she’s back in her room.”

 

© Pam Russell Bejerano 2013

Pamela Russell Bejerano is a writer who works as a school administrator in Portland, Oregon. Pamela has published a poem, and was invited to read a short story at the Cannon Beach Historical Society; this is her third Mini Sledgehammer win. Pam has lived abroad several times, and weaves multicultural issues and the strength of women throughout her writing. She is currently working on her second novel about a Peace Corps Volunteer in Nicaragua whose tenderly crafted life and community are shattered by an atrocity that she alone must find the strength to overcome.

Mini Sledgehammer March 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Thanks for your patience as we transition from Elissa Nelson facilitating Mini Sledgehammer to Kristin Thiel returning to the role! Thanks so much, Elissa. Salud, cheers, to you! And congratulations to this month’s winner, Megan Savage, who successfully incorporated the following four prompts into what the judge deemed the most successful story of the evening.

Character: Flying monkey

Prop: Toothbrush

Setting: The ocean

Action: Swinging on a rope

***

Surrender

by Megan Savage

The first favorite fight my best friend and I had was the one about whose dad could lick whose.  I had heard that word lick somewhere, and I thought it was funny and old-fashioned, and I imagined that a fight that resulted in a licking would be less boozy than elegant.  As though the winner would walk away with Bryll creamed hair intact.  We had that fight for a long time, until we started having the ancestry fight.  She would tell me that she was a Pilgrim and then I would have to tell her that I was an Indian and we would go back and forth like this, back and forth, forever.  She promising that she would produce the Mayflower manifest, me promising that I would produce my great great great grandmother’s headdress, she promising that she would produce her great great great grandmother’s buckled shoes, me promising that I would produce a smallpox blanket.

And then one day I came up with the idea that would trump any of this.  We were swinging on the rope swing in her backyard that arced out over the suburban swamplands, over the plank bridge her father had lain over the depression that would fill up with water into a stream in the summer and sink into a mulch of wet leaves come fall.  My father, I told her, had played the role of a flying monkey in the Wizard of Oz.  I told her he didn’t talk about it because he had such a serious job now, that he was embarrassed, and she couldn’t tell anyone.  She didn’t believe me, of course, but then I told her things I could never know.  L Frank Baum was a white supremacist and he had written manifestos about killing Indians that he made all the monkeys sign.  The monkeys developed lice from sharing those little purple hats.  And her eyes widened with credibility.  Her father was a Jew but his family had lived in America for a long time and none of his family had died in the Holocaust.  We both knew this to be a fact, so there was nothing she could really say to make him more interesting than mine.

The ocean is the place for scattering ashes.  When my father died last year I called up my friend in California and told her that she had to come back with me to take him to the ocean.  She said she couldn’t get the time off work and I hung up and brushed my teeth with a Walgreen’s toothbrush.  I had a dream that night that my father was a chimpanzee, swinging off the national monument.  His face looked just like my father’s, but he opened his mouth in a contortion wider than human, displaying all of his teeth and much of his gums, as chimpanzees do.  There is something about our occupations that changes the shape of our bodies.  My father had been hunched over all his life, from carrying his barrel chest and then working a desk job at a company that set up telephone networks.  This was another compelling piece of evidence for the monkey story.  Once he was invited to travel to Bermuda with the telephone pioneers of America.  He wasn’t a pioneer, but his boss gave him the ticket for keeping silent about the women coming in and out of the boss’s office.  The beach where I brought my father is not too far from where the Pilgrim’s landed, but the area is mostly Portuguese now, and there’s a power plant that looms over the whole place like Mt. Doom.  There also used to be an amusement park called Nantasket, but they tore it down to make room for condos, leaving only fried clam stands named Rocco’s and one peeling carousel from the turn of the century.

When you’re little you want to be different and important, but when you get older and you’ve each taken a different one of Frost’s divergent paths, all you want is to find the common ground you once had.  Now my friend works in LA designing packaging for a popular line of dolls that are actually monsters and also high school students.  I took my father on the carousel.  We chose a horse with a picture of a Grecian lady on his saddle.  I thought about how flying monkeys don’t make very good characters because they don’t talk but also how my father talked slower than anyone I’ve ever met.  I bought my father a plate of fried clams.  I said, “surrender, Daddy” and let his ashes go into the wind.  Then I flew to LA and took a job working with my friend.  I’ve been thinking up ideas for the copy I can write on the boxes.  “High school is hell.”  “Science takes braiiiinnnns.”   “Bewitch your boyfriends.”

© Megan Savage 2013

This is Megan Savage’s first Mini Sledgehammer win. Congratulations!

Mini Sledgehammer: April 2013 Metlakatla Library

It’s beginning to look like spring on our little island. Although there’s still some snow on the peaks, the marsh lilies are blooming and the fish are biting. And while we don’t have baseball here, it’s sure to be on a few fans’ TVs. Thanks to everyone who took the time to write with us amid all this. It was fun to hear your stories!

Congratulations to Kandi McGilton, a first-time Mini Sledgehammer participant who nabbed the prize.

Character: A baseball fan
Action: Grilling
Setting: An intersection
Phrase: “Put on your seatbelt.”

***

Untitled

by Kandi McGilton

Jake put on his Yankees hat, scooped up the burgers, hot dogs and condiments and made his way into the back yard to prepare his dinner. As he stumbled over chew toys and did knee highs over tea tables and accessories, dolls and overly girly bouncy balls, he silently cursed the gods for making this one task so difficult.

“Honey! Don’t forget to put cheese on the burgers! And don’t burn the hot dogs!” Camile, his wife yelled from the kitchen where she was preparing potato salad, fruit salad and lord knows what other kind of salad the woman could think of.

“Yeah, right, uh huh…” He muttered back to her as he set the food on the table next to his charcoal grill. It was hot out, and the last thing he wanted to do was stand in front of a fire, cooking for a bunch of in-laws he could hardly stand being in the same room with. As he stoked the charcoal and added a splash more fuel onto the fire just to see the flames rise, a smug grin crossed his face. “Honey do this, honey do that… women!” He snorted as if he’d just said the most sophisticated words of his life.

“I’m a woman.” A tiny voice came from behind him. As he swung around in his ‘Kiss The Cook’ apron, tongs in one hand, barbecue sauce in the other, he looked down on the most precious face on earth. He chuckled as he answered his four year old daughter.

“Is that so?”

Alyssa replied with her tiny fists balled on her hips just like her mother. “Yes, that’s so!” With that, her size 6 foot stomped down the grass.

“Well if you say so. What are you doing out here anyway, woman?” He said to her playfully as Jake ignored the cooking hot dogs.

“Mommy said to get out of her way and bring that stupid mutt too.” Alyssa nodded once in absolution.

“Rex? I thought I had him locked up in the bedroom. Did you let him out?” He raised an eyebrow at her and tried to give his best stern father look.

“No! I didn’t do it, he got out all on his own! Just like he ate dinner all on his own!” Alyssa squeaked in her childish voice, pointing at the golden retriever as he slobbered down the last of the hamburgers. Jake took one look at the dog and before he could yell at him to get off the table, Camile was yelling at him through the kitchen screen door.

“The dog! Damn it, Jake! Can’t you do more than one thing at a time? The family will be here any second! Rex, get over here! You stupid mutt!” Oblivious to his trouble, Rex darted for the kitchen. Alyssa stood there with her eyes lit up, her hands covering her mouth to suppress her giggle.

“Daddy’s in trouble…” She chimed.

“No he’s not.” Jake mumbled trying to salvage any food left on the table.

Camile’s cold as ice voice hollered from the kitchen. “Yes he is, because not only did the dog eat the burgers, but daddy burnt all the hot dogs too!”

He let out a string of curses, looking at his watch he knew he had at least 20 minutes to run to the grocery store before the Yankees vs White Socks game started. “Come on munchkin, we’re going to the store.”

“Yay! Can I get cookies? And root beer? And, oh! I want ice cream!” Her little frame bounced around him in excitement as they made their way through the house and out the front door.

“Hurry back, you know my dad likes to eat on time!” Camile called out before slamming the front door shut behind him.

“Women…” He said as he buckled Alyssa in. He couldn’t help but smile just a little as she crossed her arms and pouted at him.

It only took five minutes to get to the store, but in that amount of time his wife had managed to call and rush him through almost every isle for things she HAD to have.

“I’ve gotta go, now, you’re breaking up…” He said as he began to check out, giving her not time to speak as he hung up on her.

“Did you just hang up on mommy?”

“No, and if you want those extra chewy chocolate chip cookies, you’ll get on the same page as me and tell her the service here sucks.”

Alyssa giggled and nodded, happy to be in on the scheme.

Back in the car he realized they were now ten minutes late and there was no doubt a mob of angry Red Socks fans waiting to tear into him about being hungry.

“Put your seatbelt on kid, daddy might break a few laws!” He said as he buckled her in. The shock was apparent in her saucer like eyes and the look didn’t go away until they flew into the driveway.

“Well lookie here. Jake decided to show his face after all. We weren’t sure you’d show up seeing as the Yankees are about to be slaughtered.” Laughter came from deep inside the house at his brother-in-laws words. With a tilt of his chin, he picked up Alyssa in one arm, the food in the other and made his way into the house where the mob had assembled around the television.

Taking his cap from her father and placing it on her own head, Alyssa called out from beneath it to the family, “Us Yankees are going to kick your White Socks butts!”

© 2013 Kandi McGilton

Mini Sledgehammer: March 2013 Metlakatla Library

Ali learned something new with this month’s Mini Sledgehammer: when it snows while the sun is shining in Southeast Alaska, that’s the beginning of Herring season. She’ll never see such weather phenomena the same!

Congratulations to Marcella Brendible, who crafted this story of love and wilderness with the following prompts:

Character: A new parent
Action: Eating foreign food
Setting: A sunny day with snow falling
Phrase: “Not in a million years”

***

Untitled

by Marcella Brendible

The day began with pink clouds and blue skies a minute later the skies darken rather quickly. Gently the snow began to fall. “I just looked and saw a beautiful sunrise and now it’s snowing!” Sally exclaimed to her husband Roy. The two of them were preparing their boat for the nearest city. Well, city terms of a wilderness country, that is. The two were heading out to pick up their new daughter born during the night. They waited a long time for this day and they both wanted a girl.

Time in the acclaimed third largest city was a favorite of theirs. Restaurants, shops and even a small movie theater. Such luxuries were a rare treat. The month before, they journeyed in to prepare for their daughter. Now her room was ready and so were they. Family and friends gather at the dock waiting for their arrival. Everyone was going to help them adjust and help with the new family’s transition.

“Shall we try out the new restaurant?” Roy asked Sally.

“Not in a million years” was Sally’s answer. I’m not like you, eating live animal meat. Fresh veggies, sure. Besides, maybe later. I just don’t want to introduce something new to my body when we are picking up our daughter!”

“Okay, I understand,” Roy said.

The snow was falling lightly again, but they both knew this was part of their spring season. They both knew the day would settle down with blue sky throughout the day. Nothing was going to keep Sally and Roy home on their small island.

“I’ll go and start up the boat while you finish packing,” he said. “The cabin will be nice and warm for you.”

I love that about you, thought Sally. Today was going to change their lives forever. Helpful friends were ready to pitch in. Family encouraging them to go ahead and adopt. Everybody was excited.

New parents had high expectations for their offspring, and these two were no different. Introducing their young one to the natural world of their island, the seasons they’ll share, the wildlife in abundance, was just the beginning of their baby’s life.

The solitude was heavenly. Above the tall trees, the Milky Way shone brightly. Heaven on earth was their gift to their daughter.

Dad recorded the migrating whales; Mom wrote for scientific journals and the local newspaper. They planned to home school, and life was looking up! Not that their life wasn’t already whole, but to introduce a new life to their world was exciting for them. Science in their backyard, above their heads, health through their walks and fresh wild food growing around their home. The forty-plus other families to share your ups and downs with—a community of music, food, and shared love for the natural world. Life was complete.

The new parents-to-be gathered the rest of their belongings and said goodbye to their once-quiet home.

“When we return, we’ll have her, you know,” Roy said.

“I know, I know,” she replied. “I am ready.” She gently closed the front door.

© 2013 Marcella Brendible

Mini Sledgehammer February 2013: Blackbird Wine & Atomic Cheese

Thanks for another great Mini Sledgehammer, all. Congratulations to the February winner, Daniel Granias! We hope to see you at Mini Sledgehammer again.

Character: Hostile talking animal

Action: Going to happy hour

Setting: Underneath and underpass

Prop: Child’s toy

***

Untitled

by Daniel Granias

“I told you that wasn’t a good idea, Chuck.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let them arrest me?”

“You’re not worth the handcuffs it’d take.”

Chuck sent a heel into the underbelly of Roy, the mange-ridden Labrador, hard enough to throw the hostile hound on his side.

“Shut up, fleabag.”

The pair began to gather the damp and torn remnants of clothing and blankets that were strewn in the muddy gutter, wrapping the green camping tarp over the bundle and dragging it out of the rain beneath the convergence of Eisenhower Expressway and the Dan Ryan.

Less than a year ago, Chuck had in fact been worth more than just a pair of handcuffs—millions more. And Chuck hadn’t always been Chuck; he was formerly Charles T. Greyson, co-owner of Greyson Motor Industries Unlimited. That was before his brother Julius signed the company over to a corporate account that specialized in the electronic digitization of transmissions, a move that left Charles defending a backless, diesel-guzzling freight line, and therefore forced to withdraw all shareholding. This left him with nothing, and his insurance coverage was invalidated after his wife of six years who provided the plan revealed her intention to leave Charles for Julius since they met at the Golden Nugget happy hour two years ago.

But now Charles was Chuck, and Chuck was on the move.

“I should’ve left you with Meredith, Roy.”

“That bitch? I’d’ve rather eaten shit.”

“You already do.”

“Fuck off, you sorry excuse of a bum.”

Just as the ragged team slugged their way up to the narrowest part of the ramp, a doll tumbled out of Chuck’s tarp. It rolled down the moss and mildew scattered concrete and stuck in a mud bank at the bottom. Its eyes stared up at Chuck in the single yellow glare of the streetlight.

“Why’d you take that from Audrey?”

“She can survive. Her mom can provide her with everything now.”

“But why that? She never played with it anyway.”

“It was the first thing I bought for her. I doubt she even remembers it.”

“She remembers you.”

“I’d rather she didn’t.”

“She’s better off.”

© Daniel Granias 2013